Well, in my opinion, Dr. Joyce Brothers' response was better than Ann Landers or Dear Abby.

An adoptee named Will wrote to Dr. Joyce Brothers who stated his circumstances as being a college student. He was adopted as a baby through a private adoption. After he graduated high school, he had been thinking of trying to find out about his natural parents. He has never shared this with his adoptive parents and feels very guilty. He asked Dr. Brothers if he should tell his parents that he wants to search or would it hurt them.

Dr. Brothers responded to Will acknowledging that he was being considerate and caring. She advised him that although this is something that he has been thinking of lately it is something that his parents may have been preparing for many years. She advised him it is one of the issues that adoptive parents typically face and she stated that she was sure that his parents are wonderful people and wouldn’t want to stand in his way. She then suggests counseling for all three of them to figure out how to proceed and what to expect.

Dr. Brothers also suggested that his adoptive parents may have some information regarding his natural parents and may have been waiting for the right time to share it with him. She encourages him not to be afraid to bring up the subject and if his adoptive parents seem flustered or reluctant it is important to reassure them that they are loved and that you know they are his “real” parents.

Although I do think that Dr. Brother’s response is better than what Dr. Abby or Ann Landers has written recently in regards to adoption issues, I think it is important to acknowledge that adoptive parents may have conflicting emotions even if they are supportive of their child searching for his or her natural parent. It is important to acknowledge that some adoptive parents may feel fearful, angry, sorrow, jealousy, betrayed, guilty, sympathy, interest, relief, a sense of achievement and a sense of failure.