I strongly believe that it is the searcher's responsibility to learn as much about search, reunions, to read about it, talk about it with experienced people and listen very carefully to the advice that is given.

The individual initiating the search knows none of this and without the searcher is not prepared. It is those who have walked before you that have learned from our own mistakes in search and reunion. With that said, I have compiled a list of dos and don’ts that I have learned myself and from others through the years.

DO be discreet!

DO remember you may have only one change to make a certain phone call.

DO NOT assume that the other person will be as thrilled to be found as you are to find them.

DO NOT phone everyone in the phone book with the same name. DO exhaust other options first BEFORE resorting to this.

DO remember that EVERY source of information you us may be of use to the people in the future who embark on an adoption search journey.

DO keep records…photocopies of emails, documents, etc.

DO be patient. Adoption search can take some time and usually take on lives of their own.

DO utilize the experience of those such as support groups for guidance as well as emotional support.

DO try and make the call or write the letter yourself. If you feel you can not do this DO get the help of someone experienced. DO practice the call and try to anticipate obvious questions and answers.