Guilt is the sixth state of grief and if the emotions are misunderstood you can be miserable for years or you may experience a variety of physical symptoms of distress. It is important to face the feelings of guilt and not be afraid or embarrassed to talk about our feelings.

The seventh stage is anger and resentment. This is when you may be more able to express strong feelings of anger and resentment. This is a normal but if allowed to take over can be harmful but they are normal and can be overcome. When we have something precious taken away from us we inevitably go through this stage when we are very critical of everything and everyone who was related to the loss. In other works you are looking for someone to blame. In adoption loss, you may be hostile towards the doctors, agency, or intermediary that handled the adoption.

The eighth stage of grief is when you want to get back to you usual activities but something inside you resists in returning. The loss experienced is something special and we may feel that other people just don’t understand how great the loss was. Others may be talking about other things and you may feel as if you are along in your sorrow. As a natural mother you may feel that everyone has forgotten about your relinquishment to adoption. When you attempt to get back into life again it is very painful and you may feel as if you would rather grieve than fight the battle of coping with new situations. You may feel it is easier to stay with the grief because it is familiar.

Returning to every day activities makes it difficult for you to grieve about any loss in the presence of other people and you my feel forced to carry all the grief within yourself. Adoption loss has been out of place in our society for a long time and still is today to some degree. Society offers sympathy to our grieving friends immediately after a loss has occurred but when there is a death and things settle down, the funeral is over, everyone goes back to normal. The person suffering the loss is still affected. Just like adoption loss. Triad members are still affected for years after.