The child you relinquished to adoption is no longer your child. Many still though torture themselves with the pain of guilt and doubt. It is human to do that but are you being fair to yourself?

By loving your child you have loved deeply and that says that you have a deep capacity for love that many do not. Basically, natural parents are good people. Should that goodness not be recognized instead of inflicting the pain on yourself for what could of, would of, or should of have been done.

The adoptive parents have welcomed into their home a child that is now theirs and are giving him or her everything they could. They care and do everything they know to do at the time. Their child looks in their eyes and knows they understand that they are loved and know that they love you.

Some may make innocent mistakes and do we believe that they did not understand and love and forgive us in spite of it? I believe that they did and that they do.

All triad members need to forgive themselves. If we can, we can increase our knowledge, reach out to help others and use our pain to make things better for other triad members that are out there feeling alone and lost. Triad members can make a different but only if we quite hating ourselves, and blaming ourselves for being human.

Let the guilt go. Know that your children don’t blame you and that they can understand because they can know your heart. Let yourself forgive yourself and allow all the love you have to be there for the other.

Learn and then teach. Keep learning and don’t stop. Every bit of knowledge and caring you send out will ripple through out the adoption commuity and keep growing. In time, every triad member and society will understand and support us.