There are 10 stages of grief and I think it is important to understand the process through which most people must go through as they face their loss. It is not an easy process and it doesn’t mean that every person goes through all of these stages nor do they go through them in this order.

The first stage is shock and this is when the loss is so overwhelming you can’t believe what has happened. Shock is a temporary escape from reality. It is good to keep busy and to continue to carry on as much of the usual activities as possible.

Emotion is the second stage and comes about at the same time as the reality of the loss sets in. There may be no warning you well up within an uncontrollable urge to express your grief. It is important to let yourself express the emotions you are actually feeling. It is okay to cry and for some, such as men, it is very difficult to cry.

The third is depression and loneliness. You may feel depressed and isolated. You may feel that no one has ever grieved as you are grieving and the reality is that no two people grieve exactly as you are grieving but the experience of being depressed is throughout. This is a part of good healthy grief.

The fourth is physical symptoms and this is where you may become ill because of unresolved grief. You may have a physical complaint that makes you seek out a doctor. I think this occurs within a time where problems related to the loss are not yet worked through.

The fifth is panic. You may find yourself becoming panicky because you think of nothing but your loss. You may try to get your mind off the subject but it is right back again where you started. This hinders other things that you try to do such as work. You may not be producing on the job in a manner in which you are capable. You may also worry about mental health. You may be asking people to repeat questions and be wondering what is wrong with you. It boils down to that you simply can’t concentrate and this is a time of grief that is a natural stage.

If you start to panic, you may become paralyzed with fear and that is what throws you into a panic. Grief can play tricks on our minds and if you understand the grief process you may not be as overwhelmed by the thoughts that seem to take over. If you think you are going through something abnormal it just makes you feel deeper into despair. The reality is that it is normal. It may even be comforting to know that even panic is normal.