There are numerous positive ways to cope with the adoption situation in your life. Support group meetings, conferences, counseling, searching, are just a couple.

The dynamics of a support group are always the same. There purpose is to offer comfort, sympathy, and an opportunity to talk about your feelings and emotions in a safe environment. I am going to say that all support groups are not for everyone and that if you try one and it doesn’t feel right, try another one. One thing is for sure though that a support group is one of the few places where everyone there understands what you are saying. They have walked in your shoes. The situations and circumstances may be different than your adoption journey but the feelings and the emotions are the same.

Meetings or conferences are another way to connect with triad members. In addition to support, it is a way for you to get information on search, political and policy issues. Many of the conferences cover many topics through out their conference and they can range from 1 day to 4 days depending on the organization hosting the conference. There are often times speakers with a national reputation and you can hear them speak in a room filled with birth parents and adoptees.

The first conference that I attended was a National conference hosted by the American Adoption Congress in Cleveland, OH. If I am remembering correctly, the year was 1993. It was the first time that I hade met a large number of triad members at one time outside of the local support group meeting I had been attending for 3 or 4 years. These folks that I met for the first time are folks that I still communicate with today and we have become friends. They understand me and the adoption issues. I created my own support system in my life. I choose to surround myself by individuals who are good for me and that are in a mentally healthy place.
Counseling is another way to deal with the adoption. There is nothing wrong with seeking the help of an experienced therapist that can help sort out your feelings and emotions. They will help you work on relationships, self esteem, parenting issues, searching, and whatever other topic you feel that you need to discuss.

Just remember that you are not alone and that there are tons of resources available to you including this blog. I have listed a few national organizations for you.

American Adoption Congress (AAC) – www.americanadoptioncongress.org
Concerned United Birthparents – www.cubirthparents.org
International Soundex Reunion Registry – www.isrr.org