Confidentiality in adoption has been perceived as beneficial to all sides of the adoption triad in the closed adoption era. In the 80’s or 90’s it was almost unheard of adult adoptees to search for their birth parents and for birth parents to search for their children they placed for adoption. However, in the more recent past few years, searching for birth relatives has become more discussed.

Confidentiality, it has been said, is to protect birth parents from later intrusion into their lives by the child and to let them put the past behind them and move on with their lives. This confidentiality for adoptive parents gives them peace of mind that the birth mother won’t intrude into their lives and let them put the past behind them and to move on. I think that when it comes to openness in adoption, adoptees and birthparents are taking matters into their own hands. Many have initiated a search and articulated the various reasons for wanting to do so.

I strongly recommend a local search and support group in the area you live as well as the area you are searching in if they are different. There are also national organizations such as the Adoptee Liberty Movement Association (ALMA), American Adoption Congress (AAC), and Concerned United Birth Parents-CUB. These groups not only encourage adoption search and support but also believe in openness in current adoption practice.

There is ton of literature out there in regards to the search and reunion. There are many helpful books and articles on the subject so if you are searching or want to search, familiarize yourself with this stuff and gather whatever information may be helpful.

Support Groups are another way to get help. Many times there are people who have searched that will give guidance to new searchers to begin the process with a realistic attitude. In addition, these support groups can provide emotional support that is also needed. We can all read on the internet and belong to mailing lists, etc. BUT nothing replaces human contact. The internet should be used as a tool in your search but not a replacement for a live search and support group or emotional support from other human beings.

If you know what agency handled the adoption I suggest that you start there and contact that specific agency. If you don’t know the agency and you can’t find out from your parents or family members the county your adoption was finalized in may be able to help you.

Another option is to register with the registries. The International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) is the largest and often times the first recommended to those in search. The ISRR has been around for some time and has been very successful through the years. I also recommend registering with any state specific registry that may be in existence for your state.

What these registries do is match identifying information fo the adoptee and the birth parents. If anyone is looking for someone whose information matches yours, the registry will hook you up with the other party.

Registries are not very successful for various reasons but they can work and should not be avoided because it may not work. One never knows who else is registered.

Another option is using the latest computer technology in searching. Many of the commercially available online services have adoption forums or mailing lists. They can vary from being a general discussion on adoption or more specific areas for adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, siblings, etc. You never know who you will connect with on line. I do recommend proceeding with caution for the same reason. Use the world wide web or the information super highway as a tool. It can greatly aid in your search.

Below is detailed information of the National Adoption Search Resources mentioned above.

Adoptee Liberty Movement Association (ALMA)
P.O. Box 85
Denville, NJ 07834
(973) 586-1358

Adoption Search National Hotline & Reunion Registry
P.O. Box 100444
Palm Bay, FL 32910
(407) 768-2222

American Adoption Congress (AAC)
1000 Connecticut Ave., N.W., Suite 9
Washington, D.C. 20036
(202) 483-3399

Concerned United Birthparents-CUB
2000 Walker St.
Des Moines, IA 50317
(800) 822-2777 or (515) 263-9558

International Soundex Reunion Registry
P.O. Box 2312
Carson City, NV 89702
(775) 882-7755