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This reunion story is about a young man adopted from Columbia as a baby who searched for his birth mother, and in the process made a movie about his search called, “Rebirth.”
An interesting aspect about this particular search is that the young man who searched found that his birth mother had passed away ten years before he searched for her. Although he cried at hearing about her death, his search was worthwhile for him he said.
Chris Hallock was standing near a dirt trail in Colombia when his quest came to an end – he was told his biological mother was dead – and he wept.
Adoptees may be surprised to discover how impacted they might be to discover that a birth parent is no longer alive. Yet even if you have not known a mother, there may still be a connection to her and her loss may affect you deeply. This fact is surprising to some adoptees, and to others around them as well.
Why mourn for someone that you never knew? If that someone gave birth to you, there was a connection between you. Even if you never met after birth, for some, the bond never severs completely. Each situation is different.
The feelings that an adoptee who was abused or neglected may have at finding a grave are likely to differ from one adopted at birth. However, even in this particular situation, they might be affected. Often children love their first parents even when they have committed unspeakable crimes against them. Quite naturally, some children who are abused may be less affected by a discovery that a birth parent is no longer alive.
“Searching for the answers … burning in my thoughts for so long have made me feel complete as a person,” Hallock said.
An adoption search is a quest, and nearly no one who chooses to search regrets the decision no matter what the outcome. Even when the results of a search are not what one dreamed about or hoped for, generally there is some resolution. Reunion is about many dreams; buliding a relationship is only one of those dreams. Filling in the pieces of the puzzle of your life is a significant past of most searches.
Further Reading:
Letting go of the Fantasy at Reunion.
Photo by Jan Baker 2007
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