However, I do not tolerate bullies and attempts to control me or other writers. That is censorship to me and I do not like it.

Jan - your post and summary above totally verifies my point. May I ask why you are so paranoid about this that you feel the need to lump an entire group of people together as "they"? I only see one person, ME posting here expressing my viewpoint but you continue to blindly assume I am not intelligent or honorable enough to speak only for myself. And how is trying to clarify what happened since I was behind the scenes on this issue, trying to control you? What ethical person wouldn't wish to have the truth at least presented. I would have more respect had you said "I don't believe what you are saying" instead of mindlessly continuing to accuse someone of what you are in fact doing - trying to control your reader's opinions by accusing anyone who disagrees with censoring!

Also, what's really sad is that you try to convince us that you even share the opinions of this mysterious group you call "THEY"!! So therefore you are bashing people and not the situation, as I see it. And I speak only for me, btw.

I'm glad you finalized your version of this story with your opinion that there was bullying going on. The only bullying I see here and on Marley's blog, where by the way they were intelligently and objectively able to put the correct version of the story in the public eye, are a small handful of people like you are now doing you who continue calling these people you don't even know but make assumptions about, bullies!

*** I omitted portions of this post as it violated Adoption.com rules against personal attacks.

Unless you censor my post here like Karen did mine, you are no better than her or other people you continue to accuse of censoring. I think you have a good heart and apparantly you're even able to intellectualize what groups other than your own are trying to say, but you are wading into waters that are filled with sharks and alligators when you try to defend Karen's actions.

***I wouldn't have commented here at all except for the fact that this continues her many years of behaving this way and it is unconscionable. You want to defend her actions - go ahead. but I suggest you ask a few questions of those you know that have been around.

Now please read this carefully Jan, and try not to generalize or make statements about what THEY think and do based on MY opinions and knowledge of the situation. You can be angry all you want but I dare you to find one word that isn't truthful in what I have posted. You cannot. And if you delete this because you find it distasteful, you are doing exactly what Karen did and what you both are accusing someone else of - censoring.

The truth hurts, doesn't it?

pennylane

All I see here is you name calling and trying to bully Jan.

Marketers, Politicians and passive/aggressive folks use this tactic... of constantly repeating themselves.

Jan is talking about bullying in a generic sense which is why she uses "they". She isn't trying to name a specific person, but label an unacceptable action.

But you keep seeing yourself in her blogs. Does this mean you see yourself as a bully?

Thanks, Jan, for bringing this subject to light. I been bullied on listserves by someone who sounds very much like this woman. Almost no one posts to a search & support list that she took over because she jumps all over everyone who disagrees with her sending flaming private e-mail as well as on list rebukes. If pennylane wants to rant, let her do it on her own blog.

I am not going to debate this entire post as I think it will be pointless. I will explain that I used "they" because I did not want to personally attack one person. I also do not have the specifics as to exactly who came up with the policies re the "B" word at the conference.

I deleted part of this post as it contained personal attacks againt my blogging partner. Although I do find the rest of the post distasteful, I will let it stand. As for the "truth", your version is your opinion. I obviously disagree.

Margaret and Ann Marie,

I am not paranoid. Jan was referring to me when she said someone threatened Karen and although I appreciate your giving her the benefit of the doubt, she wasn't even using the term bullying generically. I see she also deleted my explanation to her as to what Karen had misrepresented to her as a threat. The deleted by the blogger posts in which I told Karen that her posting the story without the correct facts was unethical, accused me to Jan of threatening her and that was her excuse for censoring, er - deleting my responses. The big *threat* that she objected to was that I asked her to correct her version of the story since the real story was out there or I would forward her erroneous posts to all of the groups I belong to as an example of how people even when they have the facts, will continue to misrepresent if they have a vendetta against someone as Karen did Joe. Jan deleted my explanation to her that I did not feel that was a physical or emotional threat and that to character assassinate someone knowing full well the story was wrong is indicative of a big problem in both character and ethics.

I can understand why Jan deleted parts of my post above because I angrily gave examples of other similar situations that I had seen this blogger involved in. But I can't imagine why she wouldn't want you, her readers to hear my explanation of what she accused ME of doing - threatening her fellow blogger. So no, I am not imagining it.

And Margaret, sorry to say I do not have a search support group or a blog of my own, nor do I have interest in doing so. I am not the woman you refer to. I am just tired of people who claim to be adoption reformists who go on and on creating chaos and ill feelings
because they feel the need to gossip and lie about others to make themselves look better, I suppose.

If you don't believe what I've posted, I encourage you to go out and research it on the net. It's very easy to google people's names. I know in my heart that what I have shared is above reproach as far as truthfulness. If Jan or anyone wants to insist that I'm bullying -just go back and read my posts very carefully. I am kind and fair in my assessments and my conscience is clear.

I am done here ladies, so not to worry. My experience is that people who continue to do mean spirited things like I've witnessed here, will realize their own karmic retribution - the old what goes around comes around theory.