As I mulled over how to respond to Sandra's challenging email, I decided that I obviously was a annoying thorn in her side. She had visions of less children being adopted because of my views and that made her angry.

I am speculating here, but, I also think that she saw some truth and reason in some of my writings, and due to that she could not just dismiss me. Although she wanted to just ignore me, she saw a glimmer of some commonality between us. I suppose that might also be why I made a kind comment to her as well.

The initial response that I got from her was not what I expected. I questioned that trying to make a gesture towards her had been a wise move. I felt maybe I had misjudged her, and was nearly ready to write her off. A few emails down the road, some quite long and impassioned on both our parts, and we had begun to build what Sandra termed "a fragile bridge".

Her email set the tone for my reply. I thought she could handle having me be as blunt as she had been, so, I let her have it so to speak. Then I hit "send" and wondered about her response. Honestly, I half way expected another angry email back. That is not what I got. Somehow by "taking the gloves off" and not delicately dancing around, we were able to reach each other.

It finally dawned on me that Sandra believed that I am anti-adoption and want to discourage people from adopting. Since she is admittedly a huge proponent of adoption and thought that I wanted to curtail adoption, that bothered her a great deal. Adoption has been a joyous event for her, and she promotes adoption because of her own experiences and beliefs. As a birth mom, for me adoption is about loss and pain, not joy. What did we decide that we do have in common in our beliefs about adoption?


To Be Continued.....................................