Comments on: Birth Parents’ Duties in Reunion http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/birth-parents-duties-in-reunion Information for those searching for those who have been adopted or their birth families. Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:44:32 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jan Baker http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/birth-parents-duties-in-reunion/comment-page-1#comment-670 Jan Baker Fri, 10 Mar 2006 06:58:18 +0000 http://adoption-sea.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/03/09/birth-parents-duties-in-reunion#comment-670 Yes, you are so right, Susan. You cannot force people to always do what is right. I believe that many birth moms are so scarred by losing a child, that healing is nearly impossible for them. It is sad for them and their children. <br /> <br /> I feel so fortunate that at reunion I was able to fully embrace my son and love and accept him wholeheartedly. However, I know that some birth moms just cannot do that. I believe that their fear is too great. Yes, you are so right, Susan. You cannot force people to always do what is right. I believe that many birth moms are so scarred by losing a child, that healing is nearly impossible for them. It is sad for them and their children.

I feel so fortunate that at reunion I was able to fully embrace my son and love and accept him wholeheartedly. However, I know that some birth moms just cannot do that. I believe that their fear is too great.

]]> By: Susan http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/birth-parents-duties-in-reunion/comment-page-1#comment-669 Susan Thu, 09 Mar 2006 20:59:07 +0000 http://adoption-sea.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/03/09/birth-parents-duties-in-reunion#comment-669 Ah, Jan, if only your list of "What Birth Parents Owe" were law! But unfortunately for so many adoptees it is just wishful thinking. It is, sadly, not enforceable, and nobody can "make" a birthparent step up and do the right thing. I've been in reunion for over 25 years now (!!) and I really was hoping my birthmother would come around, but instead she has squirreled even more deeply into that den of denial. I think that shame and secrecy she carried for so many years is just indelible. sigh. Ah, Jan, if only your list of “What Birth Parents Owe” were law! But unfortunately for so many adoptees it is just wishful thinking. It is, sadly, not enforceable, and nobody can “make” a birthparent step up and do the right thing. I’ve been in reunion for over 25 years now (!!) and I really was hoping my birthmother would come around, but instead she has squirreled even more deeply into that den of denial. I think that shame and secrecy she carried for so many years is just indelible. sigh.

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