If you read a post of mine on any given day, you might believe that I am stuck, and angry. Read another day, and you will find that is not the case. Although I have angry moments, I use those to fuel my fires and give me the incentive to keep working to change some bad adoption practices, and faulty counseling for pregnant women.

Although adoption continues to tinge my life with sadness, I embrace life and lead a full and rich life. In my day to day life, I have made some peace with my adoption loss, and it no longer prevents me from a measure of happiness. Everyone has some baggage, adoption or not. For some of us, it prevents any chance for happiness. Others refuse to let adoption woes take awat the joy of life completely.

Birth mothers usually do have alot of baggage. For some it dominants their lives and prevents them from finding any peace or much enjoyment of life. However, I have met many birth parents like me who refuse to surrender their lives totally to adoption. They fight like warriors to not be engulfed by their loss, and they find enjoyment in their lives.

Some of the luckiest ones achieve some sense of resolution and peace. They do not forget or condone what happened; they get through it and incorporate their experience into their lives, rather than give it free rein to control their lives.

If an adoptee encounters a birth parent that they feel is not worth knowing, they are under no obligation to form a relationship with them. However, I believe if they never try to know them, they might be missing a valuable relationship and some resolution. Finding a birth parent and offering to let them into your life is a gift to them. If they embrace that gift, they may find some peace that nothing else can offer.