As I mentioned in parts 1 and 2, I realized early on in reunion that instead of grieving and dealing with my loss in the best possible way, I had merely covered it up. I slapped a band-aid on my heart and thought that I was okay for years.

Here are some of the ways I finally achieved some peace and resolution:

 The first helpful act that I took after being found was to tell my husband and enlist his support. He was a vital part of my healing and gave me the time and space to do all that I needed to do to heal. For over a year, he babied me, drew bubble baths for me, brought me snacks, held me when me I bawled and took up the slack when I was unable to do much of anything at home.

 Next, I found an experienced adoption therapist who was also an adoptee. She gave me valuable insights when I was hurting and helped me understand my son. As for helping me figure out how to heal, she helped me understand that I needed to grieve my loss for as long as I needed. With her guidance, I figured out that I needed to cry, rage and be sad as long as I needed to;

 I found an adoption support group and began to meet others who had been down the same road to reunion. I met other birth parents and adoptees and found comfort and understanding from both.

 I read and surfed the Internet obsessively to learn about adoption and why I was suffering as dramatically as I was. I found great comfort in knowing that I was not alone, and that many other women felt much like I did.

 At some point in time, I learned to focus my anger in positive ways. Instead of allowing it to control me, I devised constructive ways to use my anger in positive ways.

 I told my story to others. Sounds simple, right? I once heard someone say that you tell your story as many times as you need to.

 I journaled often. Writing about my feelings was another helpful way to heal.

Do I feel "healed" completely? I think it is an unrealistic expectation to believe that the loss of a child will ever not matter. Reunion has provided me a great deal of peace and resolution though and for that I will always feel fortunate.