Earlier this month the NY times posted an article discussing the controversy regarding registries for men to declare their interest in parenting, thereby thwarting placement for adoption by the child’s mother without his knowledge or consent.

There are some folks who are arguing it is unreasonable to expect men to “follow their sperm”.

During a discussion with a peer of mine I learned of an article that was published by the Rochester Democrate and Chronicle on February 11, 1991. The article was written by Peggy and David Soule and is titled "It Takes More Than Sex to be a Dad."

It is my understanding that Peggy and David have both been longtime adoption activists.

The article questions if a man who impregnates a woman should be able to prevent the child from being adopted? It takes into account that the encounter was a pick up from a bar, a rape, or a party where five men had sex with a woman, and a prostitute.

This article further questions whether the pregnant women be able to place their child for adoption without the father's consent even in cases as mentioned above.

The article looks at both sides of the debate. Some argue that the man should always be able to prevent the child from being adopted even if he has no other contact with the child. The courts in NY say that a man who takes the steps available to be a parent can prevent an adoption. These steps might include payment toward the expense of pregnancy and filing a paternity action in court. How does the law apply to a man who claims that he was unaware of the pregnancy?

Following my post regarding the article mentioned above, I had received a comment in private email that men should be notified and given a chance to demonstrate their commitment to the child.

I can see notification being a problem. Do prostitutes require identification from customers? Does a man who picks up a date at the bar always give his real name? Should a woman be forced to reveal the name?

I believe that the mans conduct should be judged by what he did after the sexual encounter. It is his responsibility to show that he took steps to find out if he created a child and to parent that child. He should show that he tried to contact the woman to see if she was pregnant. He should have registered his intent to claim his child with the state’s putative Father registry. He should have filed his paternity case immediately. I believe he can do so as soon as the child is conceived. A notice of adoption should not be presented to the father if he has already taken these steps.

The other side of the argument is that it is unfair to burden a man or require him to follow up on his sexual encounters to see if he has conceived a child. But isn’t this lack of responsibility and it shouldn’t be on the state or the mother.

In today’s world, there are more and more fathers participating in their childrens’ lives. They take the child to the doctors and chaperone field trips. Some men have shared custody or full custody of children after divorce. Single men are even stepping forward to be adoptive parents.

Just some food for thought.