This picture is my favorite photo of my dad and me. If it was clearer, you would be able to see the pride shining in my dad's eyes as he gazed at me. This photo qualifies as an antique though! I look pretty scruffy, but, I was what used to be called a "tomboy" and likely had taken a break from tree climbing just long enough to let my mom snap this photo.

Around Fathers’ Day, I think it is natural to think about not only our own fathers, but also, other fathers that we know. Being so involved with adoption, I think of adoptive dads who step up to the plate to raise children who need a dad. Many of you dads are awesome men and touch my heart on a regular basis.

Birth dads also come to mind as well. Until I met two birth dads at a retreat a few years ago, I had never met a father who had lost a child to adoption. The two birth dads I met were both exceptionally sensitive and caring men. They have added to my understanding of birth fathers in general.

One of the birth dads I know went through a long drawn out legal battle to gain the right to raise his son. He won a suit against his attorney for missing a significant deadline, but still lost the right to raise his son. The adoptive parents of his son have refused him any contact. I know how deeply this affects him.

My thoughts drift to my son’s birth dad as well. John, my son’s birth dad, is a good and decent man. I believe that he would have been a very good parent, but he did not have that opportunity. Our son is the only child he fathered. As yet, my son and his birth dad have not met. I hope that someday they will.

Just like us birth moms, birth fathers are not all clones of each other. Birth dads are as unique as we birth moms are. One of the factors that I often think of when I hear people judging birth dads harshly is the age factor. Many people understand that many birth moms were/are quite young, and sometimes not able to parent due to their ages. It dawned on me that many birth dads are often quite young as well. If we judge birth moms less harshly due to their young age, do many birth dads deserve our compassion as well?

Just like birth moms, birth dads are often unfairly stereotyped, and misunderstood. Many birth dads are decent, stable and kind men; some are not. Some erred in allowing their children to be adopted, some had no say in the matter and others agreed that adoption was best. None of those scenarios can be easy.

I would like to wish all Fathers a Happy Fathers' Day. For adoptive dads who open their hearts and parent, kudos to you. For fathers who help raise their children from birth, good for you. For birth dads who lost a child to adoption, my heart goes out to you. I wish you all a peaceful day.