Adoption Search, Birth Family Search, Reunion - Are Adoption Reunions Successful Part 2

06/15/06

Are Adoption Reunions Successful Part 2

Posted by : Karen Sterner in Adoption Search Blog at 08:23 am , 337 words, 33 views
Categories: Reunion

Several years ago I read a short story and what impressed me the most were the words to one sentence “A heart filled with anger has no room for love!” After pondering this sentence I realized my own anger and sorrow were taking my life for several years after finding my birth mother deceased. I couldn’t change the events of the past, but letting go of the emotions that had paralyzed and disempowered me for so long, I could be free to truly begin living life again instead of going through the motions. No matter what our troubles are, if we can put them aside for a moment, focus on possible solutions, and imagine a joyous future, we can take the first step to finding peace within.

Instead of mourning the things that were missing in my life and the things that I would never have in a relationship with my birth mother, I began to give thanks for my blessings – my health, my family, my friends, and this helped me understand that our thoughts create our reality.

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I know how easy it is to feel overwhelmed and alone. At times these feelings have gotten the best of me but when this happens instead of withdrawing I decided to let go of the frustration and hurt feelings of the past and embrace the possibilities of the future. I found the more I give of myself through writing and helping others, the more peace and fulfillment I feel in my own life. I also found that by directing my mind I direct my life and ultimately create my own happiness.

I do believe that the primal wound influences all life issues. However, we not only need to comprehend through our minds but through our hearts. Anyone can learn about the primal wound but living the wound is quite a different experience than just understanding it. I have become more aware of what has been lost but also have gained the wisdom to touch more and more peace.

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Comment from: Kathymcneilquilts [Member]

"Courage"
48 x48
Copyright 2006,
Kathy McNeil

Dedicated to my youngest daughter and her birthmother.

I wrote her letters every year until my daughter started school. I still find myself whispering the latest news, hoping that somehow it will find it’s way to her. She would be so proud of this little one we share. A University sophomore, now, 5 feet tall, smart, beautiful, stubborn, and one of the worlds greatest procrastinators.

Is it 50/50? Nature -versus nurture? If so, then we would have a lot to discuss. What came from where? The stubbornness is up for grabs. Her beauty and charm, I definitely will have to concede.

I think about you a lot. Maybe more than our daughter does at this phase of her young exciting life. She is almost the same age as when you made this monumental decision. Would it have all been different, if your circumstances at this age had been similar to hers?

The letters have never been read. When my daughter was twelve, we sent extra money to the agency asking that they try and find an updated address or contact. We were told that after that first year, they had not been able to locate any forwarding information. At this time, my daughter says she is not interested in searching, but the connection between the three of us still exists.

A connection of courage and hope. That little one, wide eyed, trusting that love will help her become the best of whom God created her to be.

Each mother filled with a different type of courage. Hoping that love would conquer many of the obstacles in her path. We share this amazing young woman. I wish there was a way to reassure you that she has thrived with our love. An image of that connection came to me in a way that words could not express. So I made a visual verse from hundreds of scraps of fabric. A quilt that holds the courage and love that all three of us share.

Soon it will be my turn to let her go out in to the world. Her wings are strong, her character solid, her choices wise. I will borrow your courage. She will continue to thrive. The 50/50 we have given her will be enough.

Kathy McNeil is the mother of two Korean born adopted children.. The copyrighted quilted image she created is available as a limited edition print. adoption art quilt by kathy mcneil

Permalink 06/15/06 @ 09:53