Since I was not at the conference long, I did not have much of a chance to mingle and talk to people. However, a large black man enthusiastically shared his story with me and told me all about his family. He proudly showed me a picture taken at the convention with his wife and three of their five children, all of whom were adopted. His three stunningly beautiful daughters were black, as he was, but, his wife was white.

This man was clearly like many of the adoptive parent bloggers at adoptionblogs.com who had large, loving and happy families. Like many adoptive parents, adoption has been a wonderful experience for him, and he seemed to relish telling his story.

As I listened to this gregarious man telling me about his family, I could not help being impressed by his obvious pride and his dedication to his family. He talked about how he is such an advocate for adoption that he is constantly asking people at work that adopting is a wonderful experience. “One fellow at work said he was single, and I told him that doesn’t matter.” he said. “I told him he can adopt as a single parent if he wants to.”

I barely got a word in, as this friendly and open man told me about his family. His wife is an adoptee he told me, so, she understands some of the issues that adopted children face. She understands “the need to know about where you come from”, he shared.. As a adult, she searched for and found her birth family. All five of their children were removed from their original families due to neglect or abuse and their parental rights were terminated by the court.

On the forums at adoption.com,http://forums.adoption.com/, I remember a few discussions about parents who had adopted children whose birth parents were in jail, or had serious drug issues. Several adoptive parents mentioned the need to protect their children, and therefore allowed no contact of any kind. One particular discussion involved a birth dad in jail who wanted a photo of the child. The general consensus seemed to be allowing a picture was too risky. I tried to understand how a picture was asking too much, but, for the life of me, I could not.

This father of five told me that they have a family cell phone that his children can use to call their birth families. It is a safe, non-traceable way for the children to contact their birth families, he said. He went on to say that whenever the social workers arrange a visit with any of the birth families, they always know that they can count on his family to make the visits happen. “It doesn’t matter if the birth family is in another state,” he said. “If they can’t come here, I will take the child to them.”