Part 1 and Part 2. Continuing with the friendly adoptive dad's story....Two of his children were under two years of age when they were adopted, he told me. His oldest son was adopted at age 12. He shared with me how much the son that they adopted at age 12 had matured and become a healthy, happy child. This dad touched me on so many levels as he shared his family story with me. He “gets” that it is good for his children to have contact with birth family, even if it must be limited due to the serious issues of their birth families.

I learned something a great deal from this man. Over the past few years, I have heard a few adoptive parents say that adopting from foster care is too risky and too hard. Unfortunately, it is true that some children in foster care do have some serious issues. Some people think that for many children in foster care, there is little hope for them.

This man clearly feels differently. Adopting a 12-year old, as this man and his wife did, is a courageous understaking in my eyes. In my book this couple are clearly "doing adoption right" in my book. I am learning that many adoptive parents are much like him.

I do not know how typical he is as an adoptive parent, if there is such a thing as "typical". However, I know that the more I let down my walls to get to know adoptive parents, the more respect I have for them. While I know that all adoptive parents are not like this man, I am beginning to see probably more are than I originally thought.

When I first walked into that conference last weekend, I felt out-of-place, much like I was walking into a lion's den. I felt as though I would be judged and that in a way that I was the "enemy". Left to my own devices, I might not have spoken to any adoptive parents. This talkative man wanted to tell me about his family though. I relaxed and let my guard down a bit as I realized that we are not enemies. We all want what is best for children.