Adam continued on with his story and related how receiving his original birth certificate was an watershed experience for him. Holding the paper in his hand, knowing that it had his mother's name on it, filled him with awe. He used the word "mother" for his birth mother, so, I am staying true to how he related his story.

Adam's father spoke about how he believed that he was so open and willing to talk about adoption and Adam's birth family. When Adam when to his stepmother instead of his father when he became interested in searching, he began to realize how extraordinarily difficult it is for some adoptees to talk to their parents about a search. "They don't want to hurt us," he said.

Thomas McDermott also spoke how he initially was somewhat skeptical of Adam's desire to know about his birth family. "Now I am fine with it", he said. There will be another set of adjustments when Adam searches for his birth mother and reunites with her.

Someone in the audience asked him when he planned to search for her. I was thinking in my head, "When he's ready." He explained why he did not search for her immediately after he got his birth certificate. Right before he received his birth certificat,he had a difficult break-up with a long term girlfriend. He went on to say that the break-up took a toll on him, and he did not feel as though he would be able to handle another rejection at that time. Another reason to wait he said was that he did not want to go into reunion with negative feelings swirling around him. He said that he plans to search soon.

There was a break in the program after Adam and his father finishing sharing their story. I walked up to Adam, shook his hand and introduced myself. I told him that I was a birth mom and that my son found me five years ago. "Getting to know my son has been one of the best experiences of my life," I told him. Trying to reconnect with birth family members through reunion is laying your heart on the line. You hope that the person you find is accepting and warm and pray that they don't stomp on your heart. One never knows, but chances are good that the person you find will want reunion.

I wanted Adam to see a real live birth mom who had been found and transformed by the experience. "It has been a very healing experience for me," I told him. We chatted for another moment or so, and then I walked away. When Adam begins his search, and maybe has moments of fear and doubt, I hope he remembers our chat.