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Some adoptee issues seem very unique to me. Other times being adopted may only exaccerbate problems and make them more difficult. The issues that many adoptees face as I see them are as follows:
1. Connecting with others – I do not think by any means that it is impossible for adoptees to connect with others. However, I believe that sometimes it is harder for them to do so. Many adoptees have told me this is the case. Certainly non-adoptees have similar issues, however, I think this issue is more common among adoptees.
2. Loss – Some adoptees are more sensitive to loss than those who are not adopted. Some people suspect the early loss of their original parents may have something to do with this hyper sensitivity. (Birth parents are often hyper sensitive to loss as well.)
4. Anger at the lack of access to records. Nearly everyone else in our country has access to their orginal records – except adoptees. This lack of access is an issue for some adoptees.
5. Wanting to know their whole life story – who and why they exist on this planet. It is a natural curiosity to want to know one’s roots. Some adoptees find it very frustrating not to know.
6. Feeling betrayed and lied to if not told the truth about their adoption.
7. Not knowing about medical history, including any genetic dispositions.
8. Not knowing and/or having the chance to grow up with siblings or others who may be like them.
9. Identity issues – not unique to adoptees, but often much more complicated to deal with for some adoptees.
The need to know and feeling that something is missing or not quite right is common for many adoptees. Do non-adopted people feel this way? Maybe, but I believe that these feelings are intensified in adoptees. None of these unique issues mean that adoptees are all miserable, unhappy and/or unfufilled people. I do not believe that is the case. I also agree that they need to deal with any adoption related issues and learn to successfully cope with them.
