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There are some books that just should be ready by every one whether they have no intention of search, or are searching, or had a reunion a long time ago. These books will help all triad members understand what has happened to us as a group of people. I also think that adoption professionals, social workers, counselors, lawyers, judges, doctors, and nurses should read these books so that they can discover what their policies and practices are doing to those affected by adoption.
The first book is Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience by Betty Jean Lifton. Many in the adoption reform movement consider this book the bible. This book is based on an adoptee’s talks with other adoptees but includes conversations with natural parents and adoptive parents as well, making this a good all around book.
The second is The Other Mother: A Woman’s Love for the Child She Gave up for Adoption by Carol Schaefer. This book helps triad members and those mentioned above how a “girl” surrendered her baby for adoption and then live with the situation as well as what kind of person can surrender her baby for adoption.
The third is Second Choice: Growing up Adopted by Robert Anderson. This book is about a man’s perspective on being adopted. This is a sensitive, moving, intelligent, and a wonderful contribution to adoption literature.
The fourth is Where Are my Birth Parents? A Guide to Teenage Adoptees by Karen Gravelle. This book, unlike most books written for children address the most basic questions who, where, and why. Most books gloss over the adoption story and promote the attitude that adoption is wonderful and adoptees should be grateful for being adopted and that their adoptive parents are their only parents and that the natural parents and natural family have no meaning to them.
