Shortly after reunion, I put together a very simple family tree booklet on the computer for my son Chris and then printed it out and stuck it in a simple binder. It includes family photos of grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, etc.

There are a few newspaper articles about family as well. One of my grandmothers was a super healthy, spunky lady who lived a long full life and a local newspaper did a feature article about her when she was 92 years old. The article about her is included in the booklet. He seemed to really enjoy this gesture, and mentioned that he liked things like that.

The discussion on this subject also mentioned a desire from some female adoptees to have something of sentimental value from grandparents. It could be china or a favorite family photo, etc. Women in general tend to be more interested in items that have some family history tied to them. They are rarely valuable, but a part of the family.

Some adoptees might expect a monetary inheritance from birth family after reunion, but I doubt that many do. I expect that most care less after money and more about more tangible items of sentimental value. However, I do not imagine that most adoptees expect anything, but would love to have something.

Do birth parents “owe” their relinquished children any sort of inheritance or family legacy? Legally, no, they do not. Morally, I think that is a whole other story. If a birth family member can pass on some family items to their relinquished children, I think it is a very nice gesture. The same applies for including a child that you have reunited with in your will. It is not expected, but I believe that it is a warm gesture.

If you are unsure as to what your family member might want, discuss it with them. People are often afraid to broach subjects such as these, but sometimes you can avoid hurt feelings through frank discussions.