Fear of Intimacy Part 2

September 5th, 2006

As a child, and knowing you were adopted you don’t have the ability of rational and logical thinking. You may have unconsciously taken the experience of being relinquished to adoption as personal and felt the emotional currents of society at the time which could have ranged from fear, worry, frustration, fear, anger, pain, shame, etc. One develops its emotional and behavioral defenses in reaction to the emotional pain that was experienced. For me, for a long time it was easier to show my love to my dog than it was humans. It took me a long time to realize that it was people who emotionally hurt me as an infant and child and my dense was to protect myself from that… [more]

Fear of Intimacy Part 1

September 5th, 2006

I have been thinking about topics to write about and this evening I thought about a triad member that I know and a discussion we recently had in regards to the fear of intimacy. Those of us who have a fear of intimacy it is because we have a fear of abandonment, betrayal and rejection. We have these fears because of our adoption experience, a life experience, or a combination of both. The feelings of being emotionally abandoned, rejected and betrayed are experienced for those whose lives are touched by adoption because as adoptees, our natural parents choices cause some to feel unworthy and unlovable. If relinquished to adoption as an infant, we were incapable of seeing ourselves as separate or of knowing… [more]