Moving Forward as an Adult Adoptee

September 15th, 2011

1249882_halfway_to_heavenAdoption can be difficult for both adoptive and biological parents. The same is true for adult adoptees, especially those who have reached out and haven't had successful reunion experiences. If you're an adult adoptee and you feel hurt, betrayed, or depressed, there are ways to move forward and find happiness and contentment in your life, despite the choices of others. You may be angry because your biological parents placed you with an adoptive family, or because you wanted your biological parents to parent you instead of letting another family do it. You may feel lost or alone because your past is a mystery and you don't know your or your family's history. No matter your personal adoption experience, you can emotionally heal and… [more]

More on Abandonment Part 2

March 27th, 2007

The term or word abandoned has negative connotations not only in adoption but in every aspect of the word. However, there is a different between how and adoptee can feel abandoned and saying that all adoptees are abandoned. The word abandoned really doesn’t define what happened and doesn’t it invalidate the trauma of the initial loss and the ongoing pay that is carried? Maybe the term surrender is a more appropriate word for natural mothers because it seems they didn’t have a choice. At least during the closed adoption era. Doesn’t the word surrender suggest that they didn’t have a choice and maybe feel less like a slap in the face. Adoptees are not the only ones… [more]

More on Abandonment Part 1

March 26th, 2007

The more I think about the subject abandonment the more I think I should write a little more on the subject. Doesn’t the word abandonment itself seem to cause a lot of hurt feelings? Don’t all triad members have their own strong feelings about the word itself? Maybe adoptees want an acknowledgement that they felt abandoned. It doesn’t mean that the adoptee blame the natural mothers or think that they had a choice about it. I am not saying to deny the natural mothers experience. The closed adoption era was a different time, and era when being an unwed mother was shameful to families that mothers were sent away and really didn’t have another choice. However, with that… [more]

Fear of Abandonment

February 21st, 2007

When it comes to how people feel the bottom lines is that each person feel the way they feel. No one can make them feel any differently and each person must work through their own feelings through time. A natural mother may feel as if they didn’t abandon their child. They may try to find peace with that. They may feel or thing that the adoptees that feel abandoned could never understand what the natural mother s went though. Some natural mothers may not be able to understand what adoptees deal with in their every day lives. I think it is safe to say that most adoptees feel differently about their beginnings. Some feelings for adoptees may have changed more… [more]