Adoption.com’s Reunion Registry Hits 400,000!

December 23rd, 2010

400,000Adoption.com's Search and Reunion Registry has hit 400,000 individual profiles! Across the United States, profiles of those looking for long-lost family members are consistently created, making the Adoption.com Registry the #1 online adoption reunion registry available today. With the ever-growing number of profiles, finding a family member is and will be a reality for many. Currently, an estimated 53.5% of the Adoption.com Registry users are adoptees searching for a birth parent or a birth sibling.  Adoption.com's next highest statistical grouping is birth mothers, at 23.3% of the online profiles. The rest consist of birth siblings, birth fathers, adoptive family members, and search angels-those who aide in reuniting and reconnecting searchers. Adoption.com reaches out and supports all those searching for family members… [more]

Making Phone Contact

March 19th, 2007
Categories: First Contact, Reunion

At various times when I have been helping an adoptee search for his or her natural mother. The person who we believe is the natural mother has been located and often times I am asked to make the initial phone call. Every time I am asked this my initial or first thought is to say no but in a majority of the cases I have communicated enough with the adoptee to know that they are just incredibly nervous. So, what I have done for these circumstances is created a way for me to show how these phone conversations are handled. The idea is to find the person you want to talk to and not reveal anything to a third party. This is between… [more]

Making Contact By Phone Part 2

July 11th, 2006
Categories: First Contact

The previous blog in this series gives you a pretty good idea what to say when making initial contact via phone but what if they say this is not a good time to talk. You should ask for a more convenient time when you can call back. Don’t wait for them to suggest a time, but ask if tomorrow morning or tomorrow night would be better. You should give them some options so that they are in control of the situation but make your intent to call back perfectly clear. In case of an immediate positive response you may want to have ready a list of questions. You may want to ask if you can get updated medical information. This may also… [more]

Making Contact By Phone Part 1

July 11th, 2006
Categories: First Contact

As I have said before there are no rules or guidebooks for first contact. However, there are things that others have done in the past that have seem to have worked for many who chose to make first contact via a phone call. You always want to be polite. You are going to feel scared to death and think you can’t do this but you can. After dialing the number you want to ask for the person you are seeking and make sure you have the right party. You then want to identify yourself by name, and state you location some like. My name is Karen and I live in PA. You then ask the person you are speaking to write… [more]

Using A Third Party

July 10th, 2006
Categories: First Contact

The most powerful way to make contact is between the people involved in the relinquishment and adoption. A third party contact the person you are looking for is not generally the best way to start a relationship. It is also not wise to contact other relatives first in the hopes that they may tell you where your natural parents are living or where the adoptee is living. Relating your adoption connection to an unknowing relative could jeopardize your reunion. If you choose to have someone assist you in making contact make sure that he or she is aware of what contact rules are important to you. It is important to be optimistic and respectful and give yourself time to make contact in a… [more]

Writing A Letter

July 10th, 2006

Some question whether or not they should write a letter to make first contact. A letter is less threatening to people. It gives them time to think about their response and to work through their feelings. It allows the person who has been located to take the time they need to make a decision regarding contact and to think about reconnecting with natural family members. It may make a difference between limited contact and no contact at all. Another positive is that writing a letter gives the person found some control over what happens when. Some feel that a letter is less intrusive than a phone call. There are additional pro’s to writing a letter such it give the writer the opportunity to… [more]

Making Contact Part 2

June 16th, 2006

The second option of first contact is via letter. The issue I see with writing a letter is there is an agonizing wait for a reply. There is no instant gratification but if you choose this option you should keep the following in mind: 1) Send the letter certified and registered, return receipt requested, requiring only the signature and ID of the person you intend the letter to be for. You should make sure it says “Forwarding Address Requested” so you can find out where they moved if they have moved within the past year. By sending the letter this way, you are protecting the person’s privacy and it also gives you an idea of when they received the letter. On the flip… [more]

Making Contact Part 1

June 15th, 2006
Categories: First Contact

When the search is completed, you will be faced with the conflicting question of how to make contact with the person you have been searching for. You have all the information and you are pretty sure this is the person you are searching for. Making first contact can be one of the scariest things you will ever do in your life. The choice you decide on for making first contact is a personal decision and you have to do what feels right for you. Unfortunately, there is no life manual with a chapter in contacting birth family to ensure you are successful. There is no right or wrong and you may even receive conflicting advice. There are a few difference avenues you can take… [more]

Reactions to Contact Part 2

May 18th, 2006
Categories: By Phone, First Contact

Some natural mothers are ecstatic to be found. She may even be searching herself. You may discover that you look a lot alike. You may feel as if you are starting to feel real inside. When making this initial phone call you may feel like you have rehearsed and practices and practiced and rehearsed. When your natural mother gets on the phone your hands may become clammy and your head whirl as you try to learn as much as you can with each word, expression, or hesitation. Your natural mother may deny that she is your natural mother or the person that you are searching for. She may not want to know you or acknowledge that she is your natural mother… [more]

Reactions to Contact Part 1

May 18th, 2006
Categories: By Phone, First Contact

Many adoptees make first contact with their natural mother by telephone. Some natural mothers may be aware that someone was trying to locate her if contact was initially made through another natural family member such as a cousin or sister. When placing that first call to your natural mother you may not be sure what to expect. You may be shocked that your natural mother thought you were someone else and your birth name or information may be enough to bring on a receptive though guarded response. Some natural mothers may be distant and unwilling to answer your questions. That can be very disappointing. However, if she agrees to share letters you may be pleased by also feel sorry that her response… [more]