Setting Boundaries in Reunion

October 3rd, 2006

Many of you may not know it, I wear many different hats through out the work week. One of my hats that I had on today was as a Tupperware consultant. In seeing the different families walking by my cash and carry stand I wished that I had been on the other side shopping instead of working. Suddenly, a family came up from behind my stand and they had a child who was screaming, crying, and thrashing on the floor. I am not a parent yet, but it made me think about acceptable and unacceptable behavior and setting boundaries. Watching this experience, in a matter of seconds, I thought of two questions to myself. They were what… [more]

Respect During Search and Reunion – Part 2

September 25th, 2006

A negative response when contact is first sought is often not the last word. For birth mothers, once they process a request for contact,gain some courage and strength, they often do change their minds. Adoptees often may need some time to process and decide if they want contact. From what I have learned about the make-up of many birth mothers, those who refuse contact probably so do because they are afraid to deal with their issues. They are afraid to tell others, afraid of rejection, afraid that reunion will be too difficult; there are many fears. I understand many of the fears because I had all the usual fears myself, and know many other birth moms may have them as well. If one member… [more]

Respect During Search and Reunion

September 24th, 2006

Reader comments are so helpful whether they are positive or negative. One of the reasons I like to receive them is because they often spark deeper conversations about various subjects. They also help me to understand when there is a need for more education about a particular subject. The last comment in this post has several issues that I would like to talk about. It can become "adversarial" if you encourage people to contact at any expense. To spring forth uninvited (it did say Perhaps) if the other party wants no contact,is not taking everyone's feelings into consideration. Since I do have an inherent belief that reunions have very positive possibilities, I enthusiastically encourage people to search and reunite if… [more]