Reunion

I have known for as long as I can remember that I was adopted. I don’t remember the specifics of my adoptive parents telling me, I just know they were always open with me about it and supportive of my decision whether to search for my birth family or not. My mom always told me she would go with me to look for my birth family and meet them if I had the opportunity. Due to my adoption being a closed adoption the only information I had to go on was the details my parents told me about the paperwork that my adoption agency gave them at the time of my adoption (paperwork my birth mother had filled out up to the time… [more]

No matter where you are in the search and reunion process, it can be difficult to keep your head up and your thoughts positive. The reunion search can be a tiring journey, physically, emotionally, and mentally. And even though you may feel alone right now, you're not. There are many people out there searching, too. For some it can take just a few hours to find success. For others it takes years, even decades, to find that one person. Because reading success stories from others just like you can help you by giving your hope, motivation, and determination, here are just a few of the many reunion success stories. "I was informed at about 12pm one day that I had a brother that… [more]

Adoption can be difficult for both adoptive and biological parents. The same is true for adult adoptees, especially those who have reached out and haven't had successful reunion experiences. If you're an adult adoptee and you feel hurt, betrayed, or depressed, there are ways to move forward and find happiness and contentment in your life, despite the choices of others. You may be angry because your biological parents placed you with an adoptive family, or because you wanted your biological parents to parent you instead of letting another family do it. You may feel lost or alone because your past is a mystery and you don't know your or your family's history. No matter your personal adoption experience, you can emotionally heal and… [more]

Adoption.com's Search and Reunion Registry has hit 400,000 individual profiles! Across the United States, profiles of those looking for long-lost family members are consistently created, making the Adoption.com Registry the #1 online adoption reunion registry available today. With the ever-growing number of profiles, finding a family member is and will be a reality for many. Currently, an estimated 53.5% of the Adoption.com Registry users are adoptees searching for a birth parent or a birth sibling.  Adoption.com's next highest statistical grouping is birth mothers, at 23.3% of the online profiles. The rest consist of birth siblings, birth fathers, adoptive family members, and search angels-those who aide in reuniting and reconnecting searchers. Adoption.com reaches out and supports all those searching for family members… [more]

Reuniting with your family members can be a difficult and arduous journey. For some, the search is simple, quick, and easy. For others, it is a process-a long process, at that. Whether hiring a private detective is the first option on your list or the last option, here are some common questions to inquire about before settling on one private detective over another. What resources will be used? Find out what methods he or she regularly employs to get the job done. Are you comfortable with all the methods or resources that may be used? Your private investigator should be able to talk in depth about each resource. Not only should you be comfortable with it, he or she should also be confident… [more]

When Oscar Wilde wrote that "the final mystery is oneself," we can assume he was referring to an individual's ability to develop self awareness. He might just as well have been referring to the journey that many adult adoptees take when they undertake a search to discover their biological roots. Our greatest mystery happens to be ourself: a mystery created when adoptions were hidden, closed, disguised from the world. Whether by design or by chance, adult adoptees find themselves in a position to undertake a Sherlock Holmes-like voyage of discovery whose ending cannot be predicted. My search experience spans twenty years from my first request for non-identifying information until my first face-to-face meeting with my birth mother. Along the way, I encountered opposition… [more]

This reunion story is another of those stories that make you shake your head at the interesting twist in the story. An adoptee who searched for her birth mother discovered that ten years previously that she and her birth mother had worked in the same beauty salon. They had little chance to talk though or they might have discovered their connection at that time. I know another adoptee who discovered that several years before reunion that he and his birth mother worked in the same building at the same time. There are often quirky kinds of happenings in adoption reunions. One part of me wants to call them coincedences, but another part of me thinks it could be something more than that. Adoptee, Michelle… [more]

In some reunions, there is an instant and immediate connection. The other party may seem somewhat familiar. There may seem to be many common interests between the two parties, and often many similarities in personalities. The more like minded the two parties are, the greater the probability that they may feel an instant connection. Sometimes the two parties seem nothing alike. The person that they meet at reunion seems like a stranger, an alien. Nearly every belief that they have may be in opposition to the other party's beliefs. In either case, connecting on a deep level and building a lasting and fulfilling relationship takes some work. Here are a few suggestions to help connect with your birth parent or adult child: 1. Try to… [more]

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Motherhood does not generally come easy for mothers of adoption, whether they are birth or adoptive mothers. Birth mothers have a keen sense of the strength of the bond that exists between them and their relinquished children. Sometimes I wonder if most birth mothers would ever have placed their children for adoption had they realized how connected they would always feel to that child lost to adoption. Women considering placing babies for adoption are routinely told that they… [more]

Whether your adult child at reunion articulates the need or not, they probably can benefit from unconditional love from you. However, I will begin with a warning to proceed slowly and cautiously. Providing unconditional love to your child may be scary for them and overwhelm them. In How to Support Your Child at Reunion I mentioned that unconditional love is one essential way to support your child at reunion. Here are some of the ways for birth parents to provide unconditional love: 1. Accept your child without reservation for the person they have become. A complicated set of factors made them who they are today. Since you had little input into their upbringing, they might not… [more]