Halloween memories – Part 2

November 1st, 2006

Okay, I know, this is a day late, but...I wanted to talk about last night before I finished with my one memory with my other son. We love Halloween at our house! My dear husband is a big burly guy, and might appear initially imposing when he greets trick or treaters. He might seem a tad intimidating....until be begins talking, and then it is clear he is not to be feared. Every costume gets enthusiastic praise from him; he tells every child their costume is magnificent. Just listening to him cracks me up. The funniest incident last night was when some former neighbors dropped by as they do every year with their daughter. They are English and had three tiny costumed nieces and nephews… [more]

Halloween Memories – Part 1

October 31st, 2006

As I read other bloggers’ thoughts on Halloween this morning, I began to reflect on past Halloweens and recalled which stood out in my mind the most. Since my children are grown now, my most recent memories are of three much loved grandchildren. On a recent weekend, my granddaughter proudly showed me her costume for this year. She had a prepackaged combo this year, and as she pulled out the pieces from the bag, she explained each item in great detail. At eight years old, she is very articulate! Eventually, she decided that she needed to try on her costume to show me how it looked. This year she is a girl pirate with a bandanna, a shirt with cross-bones on it… [more]

Happy Blog About my Children – Part 1

July 21st, 2006

In my last blog, I had intended to tell you how joyful my last week or so has been, but, somehow I began explaining my life plans, the basis behind them... blah, blah, blah. The point that I was trying to make was that from a young age, I wanted nothing more than to be a mom. At a pre-teen, I remember discussing names for the babies that we would have with my best friend, Sandy. Oddly enough, it just dawned on me, her cousin became the father of my first son (the son that I relinquished). Out of necessity, I eventually did give up the stay-at-home mom routine after the father of the two children I raised and I divorced. Nonetheless, my children have… [more]

Prelude to a Happy Blog About my Children

July 19th, 2006

Aging baby boomer that I am, I grew up watching “Donna Reed”, "The Nelsons", “Father Knows Best” and probably a few other similar television shows that I have long since forgotten. Their families were the "perfect" nuclear families that were everyone’s ideal. As I recall, all three of those families were upper middle class families, and were comprised of a mother, father and two or three children. (Yipes, how could I forget “Leave it to Beaver”?) None of the television mothers I watched each week worked outside the home. In those days, stay-at-home moms were the norm. The t.v. moms were always happy, smiling housewives. They often wore a spiffy full tasteful dress, pointed toe high heels and hairdos coifed so perfectly… [more]

Knowing Both Mothers – Part 1

May 20th, 2006

Children of adoption have two mothers. I repeat that statement often. At times I wonder if I am trying to convince myself or others of that fact. Originally, I probably was trying to get that fact to register in my own mind. Now, I believe it with all my heart. I also firmly believe that knowing both moms can be positive for an adopted person in most cases. Even if an adoption is a closed one, and children never meet or learn much about the mother who gave birth to them, she is still one of their mothers. The son that I gave birth to, who became a child of adoption, does "know" me now. We have had nearly 5 years now to… [more]

Gifts From my Mom – Part 1

May 14th, 2006

To love our mothers, or anyone for that matter, I believe that first it is necessary to love ourselves. It takes people content with themselves to fully appreciate their mothers in my opinion. When I was growing up in my family, there was a lot that I did not like about my mom. I wanted her to be a different person. I longed for a mom who was more accomplished, more educated, more sophisticated and worldly. None of these feelings are probably too uncommon I imagine. Teenagers often are not content with their mothers. I do not remember hating my mom, but just wishing that she were different. It took a decade or more of living past those teenage years for me to begin to appreciate… [more]

Gifts From My Mom – Part 2

May 14th, 2006

Whenever my family took long car trips to visit relatives, any time my mom spied mountains, she excitedly waxed on about how beautiful they were. “Yeah, yeah, sure”, I always thought – I never understood her fascination with mountains. Now, I have that same passion that my mom had for mountains. I live in a small town whose logo shows the foothills in the distance. We see the mountains every day from our backyard. Two of my favorite places on earth are Yosemite and the Swiss Alps where I love to hike. My mom taught me how to cherish a child, and make them feel special and loved. Her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were the greatest joys in her life. She dearly… [more]

My Favorite Moms – Part 1

May 13th, 2006

Several years have passed since the first Mothers' Day after my mom died. Mothers' Day has taken on new meaning for me since her death. I used to acknowledge only my mom on Mothers' Day. Now, I honor other mothers who are special and important to me, each in their own ways and for different reasons. Of course, I still think of my mother on the special day for mothers. My mom always loved me, and was proud of me. I could always count on her for that, and it was comforting to know that she loved me as much as she did. Had she known that I "gave away" one of my sons, she would not have been so proud of me. When he… [more]

Adoption at the Beach – Part 2

May 5th, 2006

As I said, in part 1, I believed that I might adopt someday. For me though, destiny had another plan. If I subscribe to the theory that we are all mere pawns and have little to no control over our lives, then I have figured out my destiny. My destiny was to have my husband thwart my desire to parent my son weeks before his birth and surrender to his adoption plans. At least I did not have months to agonize over my “decision” and cloud my mind with counseling options. Hmmm, come to think of it, there probably was scant counseling available in those days for women considering adoption anyway. Flash forward 32 years, it was time for both my son and menopause… [more]

Adoption at the Beach – Part 1

May 5th, 2006

. What does adoption have to do with this photo of surfers I took last year at the beach? Nothing really, except for the fact that in a few days, I will be at the beach for two days and nights with my dear husband. However, anywhere I go, adoption follows me. Adoption is no longer in my thoughts every waking moment as it was during the first few years of reunion. Nevertheless, I still think of the subject often. Writing this blog guarantees that adoption is on my brain on a regular basis. Blog or no blog though, adoption would be still be on my mind. At times, I wish that I could go back to the days when adoption was a… [more]