The Learning Curve

October 10th, 2013

NEW CURVES AHEAD SIGNHaving completed registration here and nationally, I began 'The Learning Curve Era'. Consuming information in great gulps helped speed the time a bit, yet just as a curved road requires slower, more careful driving, so does this time of learning. I don't have much to offer readers in regard to time condensation here. Try to enjoy the view as you go, committing as much as possible to memory and note-taking...and remember, if not navigated rightly, you could miss a turn or even go over a cliff. The Learning Curve Era has only one real requirement...that we learn! One piece of advice I found but did not follow was to 'clear the slate'. Placing current projects on the shelf is not… [more]

Adoption Search Angels

April 10th, 2007

Angels are one of my favorite things. I love them for their beauty, and for what they are--guardians. Angels are loving, kind, and show selflessness in their acts. The angels with in the adoption community are referred to as Adoption Search Angels. An adoption search angel volunteers his or her time to help triad members seek answers in their adoption search. These search angels can help a natural parent locate and old yearbook so that he or she can see the child she placed for adoption. Some search angels will explore registries to help triad members find answers. The bottom line is that a search angel is a person just like you or me. They often times have completed their… [more]

Falsified Adoption Records

March 4th, 2007

Although it is true that all states amend birth certificates and contain some false information, some states do more than change the names of the parents. This site lists the ways that certain states falsify adoption records. It should be noted that this practice is not common. You might be surprised to find that this list contains seventeen states that change certain items on birth certificates. According to this list, in Florida they still change the actual place of birth, for instance. The place of birth is sometimes changed to reflect the county where the adopted parents live. Florida is one of the states well known to be extremely difficult for adoption searches. I do know people who have searched in the state… [more]

Adopted Children Want More Info

February 28th, 2007

This article from the UK surveyed 208 adopted people, aged from six to 22 and found that they want more information about their adoptions. Adopted children want more information about their birth family and why they were adopted, according to a report. This study also discusses how adoption agencies in the UK are not meeting government standards. It says that one out of every two agencies are failing in some respects. Their research cites high turnover rates among employees and inadequate training or recruitment of trained and experienced staff members. There are concerns that these problems affect the quality of the services that children who are being adopted are receiving. Sounds as though the British have their share of problems… [more]

Be Prepared For a Possible Reunion

February 9th, 2007

The Boy Scout motto which tells us to be prepared is a useful reminder to those of us in closed adoptions. I will be the first to admit that as a birth mother, I was not prepared for reunion. In fact, I had my head so buried in the sand, I never even thought of myself as a birth mother. Preparing for the possibility of reunion was even less on my mind. I knew so little about adoption searches that I figured if my son did not search when he first became of age at 18 or 21 that he probably never would. Now, I know that the mid-thirties are the most common age for a search… [more]

Reunion and Therapy – Part 1

February 7th, 2007

Living near a large metropolitan area, I had great options for support from other triad members. Not everyone is as fortunate in that respect. In our area, not only is there a local CUB Chapter, but, several triad therapists. These therapists come from every part of the triad. Although there is at least one birth mom therapist in my area, I did not find out about her until much later. The adoptee therapist recommended to me also had a small adoption therapy group which held its meetings in the small town I live in. I joined the therapy group and had weekly sessions with my therapist and spent most of that first year of reunion meeting with her. At one… [more]

The Rose Parade /The End of the Year in Adoption

December 28th, 2006

Preparations for the Rose Parade are under way in my part of the world. Driving to work shortly before Christmas, I noticed banners up for the parade. One of the streets that I take to work every day is where the floats are parked after the parade. Since I work in Pasadena, the neighborhood near my office is busily preparing as well. Grandstands outside the bank that I use were being constructed and readied for the big event. As any year draws to a close, I reflect on what's changed during the year. With my close ties to the adoption world, I tend to focus on what's happened the in adoption as well. Some of the events in adoption/against children during the… [more]

Being Involved in Your Search

December 4th, 2006

There are many search angels out there and I applaud each and everyone for the amount of time they volunteer to the search efforts that they do. On the flip side though I have seen search angels doing all the searching and making contact and then things go up in some because it was all done for them. It is so important that triad members searching be involved in their own search and not just turn it over to a search angel. The reason I say this is because it helps the person who is searching to be aware of what is involved and appreciate the work the wonderful search angels provided. It also keeps the anticipation level at a high… [more]

I Promise – the Last re Madonna!

October 23rd, 2006

Some people have suggested that everyone should lay off Madonna and stop picking on her. I guess I do not necessarily see discussing her adoption as “picking on her”. Besides, there are so many possible breaches of adoption practices involved in regards to her adoption, I think it would be irresponsible to ignore them, and pretend that they do not matter. Although I really do not care to personally pick on Madonna, the furor surrounding her impending adoption raises so many questions. I wonder why with so many true orphans in Africa, Madonna happened to pick a child whose father is still living? On the other hand, people adopt in the U.S. when children have parents - sometimes who are encouraged to relinquish because… [more]

Criticizing Adoption

September 22nd, 2006

Although I believe that I may have already shared N's Blog with you, I particularly liked this entry of hers, so decided to share it. In this blog entry of hers she says: I’ve written before that I wish that talking about the ethics (or room for lack of ethics) in adoption didn’t automatically feel like an indictment, to adoptive parents. It doesn’t for all, I know. But many times, the minute I say, “Things need to change. There’s too much pressure in infant adoption,” adoptive parents freeze up. And get defensive. I find myself often in the position of trying to explain that wanting to reform or improve adoption is not an attack on adoptive parents or the institution of adoption. Therefore… [more]