Mystery & the Adoption Experience

August 12th, 2009
Posted By: on Adoption Search

When Oscar Wilde wrote that "the final mystery is oneself," we can assume he was referring to an individual's ability to develop self awareness. He might just as well have been referring to the journey that many adult adoptees take when they undertake a search to discover their biological roots. Our greatest mystery happens to be ourself: a mystery created when adoptions were hidden, closed, disguised from the world. Whether by design or by chance, adult adoptees find themselves in a position to undertake a Sherlock Holmes-like voyage of discovery whose ending cannot be predicted. My search experience spans twenty years from my first request for non-identifying information until my first face-to-face meeting with my birth mother. Along the way, I encountered opposition… [more]

Reunion Story – Mother & Child – Co-Workers

June 7th, 2007

This reunion story is another of those stories that make you shake your head at the interesting twist in the story. An adoptee who searched for her birth mother discovered that ten years previously that she and her birth mother had worked in the same beauty salon. They had little chance to talk though or they might have discovered their connection at that time. I know another adoptee who discovered that several years before reunion that he and his birth mother worked in the same building at the same time. There are often quirky kinds of happenings in adoption reunions. One part of me wants to call them coincedences, but another part of me thinks it could be something more than that. Adoptee, Michelle… [more]

Unlocking the Past

June 1st, 2007

Unlocking the Past - A State Senator's Awakening Ignites His Crusade For The Rights Of Adoptees is a news article about a state senator and mayoral candidate and his adoption journey. Connecticut Senator Bill Finch was told when he was 8 or 9 years old that he was adopted. He says that even after that, it never occurred to him that he had "anything less than an idyllic childhood." "It was only after I started having children myself and needed access to family medical records, that I needed access to my own past, that I realized something had been taken away from me." The Senator is sponsoring a bill that would allow adoptees to obtain copies of their original birth certificates once… [more]

Holocaust Survivor Refuses Reunion

May 25th, 2007

Holocaust Survivor Refuses Reunion is a sad story. Whenever I hear about a birth mother refusing contact, I feel deep sorrow not only for her child, but for her. I believe that refusing reunion is partially due to fear and not understanding the positive benefits of reunion. A reunion could ignite bad memories, Gottefeld said. "It might bring back all sorts of things that in order to continue to live, and not to become too depressed, to build a life she had to put aside," she said. There is a fundamental fact that it seems that many people do not understand about the birth mother experience. It takes some birth mothers themselves time to figure it out. First, here comes my disclaimer… [more]

Mother and Son Reunion

May 24th, 2007

Mother and Child Reunion is one of those "feel good" reunion stories that warms the heart. Well, it warms your heart if you like the idea of reunions; not everyone does. Then she began to panic. Her first thought: "How am I going to lose 20 pounds overnight?" I could not help but laugh at the comment above made by the birth mother found by her son, and preparing to meet him. How many birth mothers could identify with that thought? In fact, just recently I wrote about my fussy preparations before meeting my son for that first face-to-face. This story has many of the usual elements. The birth mother never searched because she did had fears of disrupting her son's life. Yet… [more]

Colombian Native Discovers Roots

May 23rd, 2007

This reunion story is about a young man adopted from Columbia as a baby who searched for his birth mother, and in the process made a movie about his search called, "Rebirth." An interesting aspect about this particular search is that the young man who searched found that his birth mother had passed away ten years before he searched for her. Although he cried at hearing about her death, his search was worthwhile for him he said. Chris Hallock was standing near a dirt trail in Colombia when his quest came to an end - he was told his biological mother was dead - and he wept. Adoptees may be surprised to discover how impacted they might be to discover that a birth parent is… [more]

Irish Discontent

May 22nd, 2007

This article discusses accusations brought by ANSI (Adoption Support Network of Ireland) that the government reneged on promises made four years ago in regard to opening adoption records in Ireland. The ASNI is the first National organisation of its kind to comprise of adopted people, natural parents, adoptive parents, natural family members and other interested parties whose lives have been affected by Ireland’s closed secret adoption system. Reference is made in this article to the fact that Irish adoption legislation is "embarrassingly out of date in comparison with England." England released adoption files to adopted people in the 1970's. “Worse still’, she added, “a highly draconian proposal to fine, or even jail people for trying to trace a relative, is now effectively back on the… [more]

The Baby Thief – By Barbara Raymond

May 17th, 2007

The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, The Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption "The Baby Thief" is a compelling read, but a horrific tale. However, the story of Georgia Tann is one that needs to be told for the historical significance that it embodies. Ms. Tann’s need for secrecy in adoption records was due to the shoddy, immoral and illegal practices that she used for several decades. She intentionally altered and destroyed records of children to cover up the horrendous acts that she perpetuated. Poor families were ripped apart as some of the children or all of the children in a family were hauled away under various pretenses to be adopted. Ms. Raymond interviewed some adults who recall not only being stolen from their… [more]

Searching for Birthparents

May 16th, 2007

"And the phone gets silent and she starts crying and she calls me El Nino, the baby, the baby is back." Searching for Birthparents is a newspaper article about a man adopted from Honduras. The urge to search came for him when his son Miguel was born. The birth of a child for an adoptee is often a time when thoughts of birth parents surface, and sometimes spark a search. Fortunately, this young man did have some information about his birthparents. He had their names, and after gathering enough information, he flew to Honduras to search for her. He ended up finding some of her family who called her to let her know about his search for her. The odd twist of fate in… [more]

Parade Magazine Search Stories

May 14th, 2007

Like several other states, Colorado has recently changed some laws regarding access to adoption records. This has helped make searching easier for some residents. Adopted and Searching for Answers is a Parade Magazine article that highlights five people and their searchs. Their searches yielded varying results. Last month, Colorado’s Attorney General John Suthers brought the issue to light when he talked publicly for the first time about finding his birth mother. He sent her a long letter, but his mother was reluctant to set up a meeting. Although John Suthers found his birth mother, she has declined to meet him yet. Suthers was quoted as saying that “She did not want to disrupt her life, and I respected that wish.” Bart Brinkman found out when… [more]