Adoptive Parents and Search

January 18th, 2007

It is funny how defensive some adoptive parents can be. I have a cousin whose daughter is adopted. This young adult (mid-late 20’s) is struggling in life. She has a lot of pain which is obvious. I have tried to talk to her adoptive parents about it several years ago and attempted to steer the discussion on the adoption side of things. I thought that I would try and explain the “primal wound” and that immediately turned the conversation off. She was adamant that her daughter didn’t have a problem with adoption and she was just having a difficult time with life and that she is seeing a therapist and looking into medical treatments. She just… [more]

What to do if Your Child Wants to Search – Part 3

January 11th, 2007

If your child is very young and expresses a need for their birth family, how to handle the situation is more complicated. However, to summarily ignore their desires even at a young age is showing them that their feelings are wrong and do not matter. When extremely young children talk about wanting to meet birth family, you may not necessarily need to search or attempt a reunion. (Opening a closed adoption is a distinct possibility and a blog post about that subject is coming up in my first parent blog.)However, before proceeding, you need to try to figure out what is going on with the child. A young child may not need a reunion at an early age, they might just need… [more]

Adoptive Parents, Search & Reunion

March 8th, 2006

Adoptive parents, if you have a child or children in closed adoptions - this post is especially for you! Is your child still a baby? Thinking about that baby ever wanting or needing to search may seem a long way off. If your child is older, maybe they have begun to be ask questions about their birth family. Closed adoptions operate on a simple, neat premise. A baby is born to a woman who then gives that baby to another family to raise forever. The mother who gave birth to the baby may or may not ever meet or know anything about the adoptive parents. The birth and adoptive parents do not have identifying information about each other. Generally that used to mean that… [more]