The Learning Curve

October 10th, 2013

NEW CURVES AHEAD SIGNHaving completed registration here and nationally, I began 'The Learning Curve Era'. Consuming information in great gulps helped speed the time a bit, yet just as a curved road requires slower, more careful driving, so does this time of learning. I don't have much to offer readers in regard to time condensation here. Try to enjoy the view as you go, committing as much as possible to memory and note-taking...and remember, if not navigated rightly, you could miss a turn or even go over a cliff. The Learning Curve Era has only one real requirement...that we learn! One piece of advice I found but did not follow was to 'clear the slate'. Placing current projects on the shelf is not… [more]

Got REGISTRATION?

October 6th, 2013

NEW CRACK IN WALLAh, Readers! Bear with me, please, as I get my feet beneath me navigating the Adoption.com site! Having been given permissions to blog in several categories here, I found in retrospect that I had posted under 'adoptee' rather than here under "Adoption Search''.  Please read the posts at the links given as they really do give the MOST important things to do prior to beginning a search. Here are the links: "Again and Again I Say, Prepare!" ; "Avoiding the Undertow". In an upcoming article, (not here in the blog section), you will read of my "Box Full of Matches". This is like a tool box, with each match… [more]

HEALING HAPPENS!

September 25th, 2013

heartThe ridiculed little girl spoken of in my first article for Adoption.com  began the inevitable course of growing up. Her emotions had told her, and sadly she had listened, that she was a ‘duty-child’, taken in by parents, particularly a mother, who wanted to show a small community that they were doing something good with their monies…giving back to the world that have given to them with such grace. Like most teenagers, she faced many obstacles, but chose to attribute hers to ‘being adopted’. She considered herself a victim of life rather than one who has victory over circumstances. This attitude negated gratitude, which lent her easily to building a wall of pride. The tall, thick wall did its job… [more]

My Biological Mother

May 15th, 2013

mothers heartMother’s Day was always a time of year I would wonder about my biological mother. When I was younger I knew I was adopted but didn’t know details, like my parents’ names or birthdays, so Hallmark Holidays such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day usually were what would trigger reflection for me. Growing up, when I would think about my mother (biological) I would wonder many things. What did she look like? What did her voice sound like? Did she think about me too? Did she remember my birthday? Did she still love me? Did she regret the choice she made? There was a point in my life that I even went as far as writing a fictional story about… [more]

Moments of Change

September 23rd, 2011

cue your lifeThere are moments in life that can change all that you thought to be true. It happens in the blink of an eye and often, without any warning. It may be a choice you make, a thought you have, a new person coming in to, or leaving your life, possibly a choice someone else makes for you, or even in their own lives. As far as my adoption story is concerned, I've had two of these moments. The first came in the form of a kick. I can still remember the first time I felt my daughter kick in my belly. Out of nowhere, there she was, and out of nowhere, I thought of a woman who I'd never met, a woman… [more]

Questions to Ask Your Paid Adoption Searcher

October 27th, 2009

47379_mobile_phone_searching___Reuniting with your family members can be a difficult and arduous journey. For some, the search is simple, quick, and easy. For others, it is a process-a long process, at that. Whether hiring a private detective is the first option on your list or the last option, here are some common questions to inquire about before settling on one private detective over another. What resources will be used? Find out what methods he or she regularly employs to get the job done. Are you comfortable with all the methods or resources that may be used? Your private investigator should be able to talk in depth about each resource. Not only should you be comfortable with it, he or she should also be confident… [more]

Search and Reunion Etiquette

April 27th, 2007

Search and reunion can be exciting and confusing times. Having some idea of what to expect, and how to handle various situations can be extremely helpful. 1) If you choose to make your first contact by mail, be certain that your letter is vague and non-revealing. You do not know who knows about the adoption, and it is best to let the found party control who they tell and when… [more]

Understanding DNA

April 10th, 2007

The two part blog series I wrote in February talks about the different types of DNA tests that can be utilized in your adoption search. Before you turn to DNA testing to help uncover your natural ancestry you first should probably learn some basics. Each individual’s physical traits and characteristics are determined from our genes and our chromosomes hold our genetic material and carry genetic information in long strands of DNA called genes. DNA acts as a blue print for creating a human being. Each pair of chromosomes are made up of one chromosome that is inherited from the father and one from the mother. So, in adoption when you wonder why your eyes are a certain color or your hair… [more]

Approaching Reunion

March 19th, 2007

Recently someone asked me a few questions about being contacted by an intermediary on behalf of someone they were separated from through adoptions a few decades ago. This initial contact left this person with lump in her stomach and she felt as if her world was turned upside down She also had a sense of relief and excitement. She had a variety of feelings surface from elation to sadness, joy to anger, along with a high level o f anxiety and an overwhelming need to have immediate contact. In general it is safe to say that the person who searches is more ready for and more prepared for reunion than the person who is found. The searcher has been actively thinking… [more]

More Thoughts on 2006

December 31st, 2006

The last day of 2006, what a whirlwind of a year this has been for me! As the old year ends, I cannot help but marvel at all that I have learned. Throughout the year about, I have seen the amazing resilency and resourcefulness of those separated by adoption. The dogged determination and strong desire to reunite in many separate family members continues to amaze me with each new story that I uncover. The opportunity to watch and hear stories of search and reunions has been an exciting one for me. As reunions increase and become more frequent, more research increases into the whole phenomenon of closed adoptions. Thankfully, as a society we are becoming increasingly aware that closed adoptions are fraught with the… [more]