The Learning Curve

October 10th, 2013

NEW CURVES AHEAD SIGNHaving completed registration here and nationally, I began 'The Learning Curve Era'. Consuming information in great gulps helped speed the time a bit, yet just as a curved road requires slower, more careful driving, so does this time of learning. I don't have much to offer readers in regard to time condensation here. Try to enjoy the view as you go, committing as much as possible to memory and note-taking...and remember, if not navigated rightly, you could miss a turn or even go over a cliff. The Learning Curve Era has only one real requirement...that we learn! One piece of advice I found but did not follow was to 'clear the slate'. Placing current projects on the shelf is not… [more]

Understanding DNA

April 10th, 2007

The two part blog series I wrote in February talks about the different types of DNA tests that can be utilized in your adoption search. Before you turn to DNA testing to help uncover your natural ancestry you first should probably learn some basics. Each individual’s physical traits and characteristics are determined from our genes and our chromosomes hold our genetic material and carry genetic information in long strands of DNA called genes. DNA acts as a blue print for creating a human being. Each pair of chromosomes are made up of one chromosome that is inherited from the father and one from the mother. So, in adoption when you wonder why your eyes are a certain color or your hair… [more]

How Long Should You Continue a Search?

February 26th, 2007
Categories: Choices in Search

Is there a definitive response as to how long to continue searching? Actually there is an extremely simple one. No one but you knows how important your search is. The simple response as to how long you should search? As long as you feel that you want or need to do so. A search is more significant for some people than others. However, most searchers that I have met are very intent on a successful result. You may decide that you need a break from searching or wish to give up entirely. The decision is yours to make, and no one else knows better than you what the right choice may be. Some people might tell you to give up, others will… [more]

Are Current Methods to Obtain Adoption Records Adequate?

January 15th, 2007
Categories: Choices in Search

In this blog, my blogging partner and I talk about many ways to search. With a few exceptions, most states have provisions to provide non-identifying information to searchers. Many states also have registries and confidential intermediary systems, and a few other resources. Sometimes I wonder if people ever read about all the ways to search and find birth family members and think the system that we have now is sufficient. Just in case, I would like to clarify that point. First, each state varies a great deal as to what records are accessible. Where an adopted person is adopted dramatically affects their ability to obtain their original birth certificate or other adoption records. Laws vary drastically from state to state and there is… [more]

Passive Search

January 13th, 2007

In my opinion, the term "passive search" is somewhat of a misnomer. A passive search really does not involved any searching. All that a passive search accomplishes is to make it easier if someone comes searching for you. Some triad members separated by adoption may not feel comfortable searching. Instead they would rather make it easier for their birth family member to locate them. It is a great theory, but often both parties wait for the other party to initiate a search. A passive search involves mainly leaving a paper or electronic trail for a birth member. They are two main ways to conduct a passive search: 1. Sign up with as many free registries as possible. Some of the larger registries like and… [more]

Taking Your Search Public

October 24th, 2006

“They’re not my family, but losing my whole family, if I could just have some connection to him, just some connection,” Weaver said of her adopted brother. “I just want them to get to know what kind of person he was.” While researching a project that I am working on, I ran across this article. It reminded me that taking your search public is one method of locating your birth family or your relinquished child. Most people would choose this method only they have exhausted the more usual avenues. However, this method has been known to work. Keep in mind that if you have found dead ends using the more traditional methods, taking your search public is an option. You could… [more]

Searching in the Digital Age – Part 2

July 25th, 2006
Categories: Choices in Search

Searching for an adoptee or birth parent once you have their name is much easier than it used to be. With all the available data bases that can be accessed on the Internet, searching is vastly less taxing. Some of these data bases are free; others provide information for nominal charges. There are some data bases, however, that are available only at significant costs. Many private investigators and professional adoption searchers have data bases that are not available to the average searcher. One Saturday morning, I sat down with a birth mom friend of mine who has been an adoption searcher for many years. She showed many how many of her data bases operate. I was astounded by… [more]

Searching in the Digital Age – Part 1

July 24th, 2006
Categories: Choices in Search

The Internet has made the whole adoption search experience vastly easier. The wide variety of websites devoted to adoption search is ever expanding. Before the wide use of the Internet, searching was an even more arduous and sometimes nearly impossible task. I recently found this article about searching in the age of the Internet. As recently as a decade ago, the search for an adoptee or birth parent was almost always frustrating and often fruitless. It required the patience of a kindergarten teacher, the research skills of a historian and the aid of a lawyer. But in the age of Google, when public records are digitized and many family records are available on the Web, the process has become less daunting. It has… [more]

DNA and Genetics in Adoption Search

April 18th, 2006

It is a fact that humans are naturally curious about their origins. Sometimes it is not a case of curiosity but rather the need to know their origins for medical reasons. DNA and genetic testing may be an avenue you may want to travel to help solve the adoption obstacles. Genetic testing may help solve the mysteries of the past. For years I had searched for my birth father. My first personal experience with DNA was two or three years after finding my natural family. My sister’s father, had admitted that there was a possibility that he could be my natural father. He was not sure and agreed to do DNA testing to find out for sure. We had our… [more]

Cautions in Searching

March 16th, 2006

An experience that I have had recently made me thing about the vulnerability that those searching put themselves in when posting on the internet, in guest books, registries, or posting to message boards. I would like to see everyone out there searching to be careful but always be yourself. Surround yourself with reputable groups and people in the adoption community and always seek out ethical search options. During your search, no matter what part of the triad you are, there are some cautions that I think that each of us need to take. A majority of the folks in the adoption community are on the up and up but there have been circumstances of where a triad member has been scammed to believe that… [more]