Onward and Upward…Literally

October 4th, 2013

texasOn September 26, 2013, I sat in the Newark, New Jersey airport, waiting to fly into Dallas, Texas to bridge the gene gap.  I was going to meet my birth mom's family.   I was slightly nervous, but more excited.  I felt like it was the first day on a new job.  I even set out an outfit to wear, something I never do! As I was flying to Texas, I kept thinking, "I am meeting my birth mother's brother."  I said to myself, " I am meeting the man who is my biological uncle,  who got to stay in his home and be raised by his grandmother while his sister was  put into an orphanage.  I am meeting the man who lost touch with his… [more]

Persistence Pays Off

September 6th, 2013

rebecca2I am an adoptee, and I was adopted at 1 month of age, on Valentine’s Day in 1980.   I have known I was adopted since I was 6 years old, if not before.  I have always wondered who my birth mother was. I started searching for my birth mom around May of 2012.  I had information on her that is considered “Non-identifying information” given to me by the adoption agency. I had her date of birth, first name, ethnicity, her hobbies, marital status and occupation.  I decided to assume she had a Polish last name, given she was of Polish descent.  I feared it may get me nowhere.  I spent the next 10 months researching every woman with my birth mom's first… [more]

Introductions

May 8th, 2012
Posted By: on Adoption Search

Hello, My name is Rita Bradford, I'm 37 years old and was adopted when I was 9 days old. I was born in Nassawadox, VA on January 22,1975. I was adopted by a wonderful family. I'm so very thankful for them. I went from having no one to having a sister and a mom and dad. I'm currently searching for my birth family. I've been searching on my own for 14 years now. I'll get into more of that a little later, and I'll start from the beginning for now. I've often wondered how my birth mother must have felt the whole time she was pregnant with me and even the day she went to the hospital to give birth to me. She must have felt scared, worried, anxious,  and… [more]

Mystery & the Adoption Experience

August 12th, 2009
Posted By: on Adoption Search

When Oscar Wilde wrote that "the final mystery is oneself," we can assume he was referring to an individual's ability to develop self awareness. He might just as well have been referring to the journey that many adult adoptees take when they undertake a search to discover their biological roots. Our greatest mystery happens to be ourself: a mystery created when adoptions were hidden, closed, disguised from the world. Whether by design or by chance, adult adoptees find themselves in a position to undertake a Sherlock Holmes-like voyage of discovery whose ending cannot be predicted. My search experience spans twenty years from my first request for non-identifying information until my first face-to-face meeting with my birth mother. Along the way, I encountered opposition… [more]

The Pros and Cons of A Search – Part 2 – The Pros

March 21st, 2007

Most searches ultimately result in finding an adopted child or a birth parent. Even when you do not ultimately locate the object of your search, the journey usually provides some resolution and answers. An adoption search is a complex process and often a time for much healthy reflection and processing your adoption loss. No matter what the outcome, some healing can take place. It probably may not happen immediately, although some birth mothers have reported rapid improvement in their health or attitude about life after finding their child. For most people, however, healing takes years after an adoption search. The best reason for an adoption search is to achieve some resolution and peace about your or your child's adoption. During a search, you… [more]

Bessie Bernard – Miami, FL

March 5th, 2007

This site will tell you the story of Bessie Bernard. Bessie Bernard was a part of a baby peddling ring in the 1940s which charged as much as two thousand dollars per baby, which was a lot of money at that time. Many of the unwed mothers were found in the Miami Florida area and once the babies were born they were brought north and were sold in New York and nearby states. Bessie Bernard was charged with conspiracy and illegal placement for adoption in December 1949. She worked with two others who were Brooklyn attorneys Irwin Slater and Harry Wolfson. Mr. Slater drafted formal agreements. Bessie Bernard was in charge of placement and transportation of the babies. During the… [more]

Bethany Christian Promoting Marriage

November 14th, 2006

Bethany Christian Adoption Agencies is expanding their horizons. Read here for the details. Bethany Christian has 75 offices nationwide. They are a very well known, aggressive agency. With a new grant of $500,000, Bethany is now initiating a new program to promote marriage for unmarried mothers. Although this article says that “adoption will remain their mainstay”, the new program will encourage young pregnant women to consider marriage and parenting. Reading this was emotional for me, and I hope that it is a step in the right direction. Even with some misgivings about this program, I am hopeful that it is an indication that there is greater awareness that separating babies and mothers unless absolutely necessary is a very bad idea. I… [more]

New Jersey – Will They Succeed?

November 7th, 2006

Here is one of the stories regarding New Jersey's attempt to open their adoption records. Those who are adopted often have questions about their personal backgrounds and now, New Jersey lawmakers are considering a bill that would make it easier for those adoptees to get their answers. This may be the same article that Jenna blogged about, but I wanted to talk about it anyway. I keep reading over and over that birth mothers' privacy needs to be protected. Yet, I never hear any birth mothers say that they believe that they need any protection from their children finding out their identity. All "birth mother privacy" entails is not allowing an adoptee to know the name of the woman who gave birth to… [more]

Guatemalan Searching

November 6th, 2006

Susi is an educated, bilingual Guatemalan hired by adoptive parents who wish to locate their Guatemalan children's birth mothers.... But most often she'll travel throughout Guatemala, often deep into the countryside, to knock on the door of a woman who hasn't received news of a child she placed for adoption years before. This interview caught my eye. It is an between a Guatemalan searcher and an adoptive parent. The searcher says that she has conducted 193 searches and of those, 160 of them have been successful. I thought this was a pretty interesting interview and mostly sensitive and informative. The question from the adoptive mom about "what about birth mothers who show no visible emotion" seemed somewhat peculiar to me though. Maybe peculiar is… [more]

Bullies in Adoption – Part 2

October 10th, 2006

If nothing else, the huge number of comments that her blog received have many bloggers green with envy. However, I think there is little chance that any of us can come close to matching M.’s satirical expertise. Like her or not, agree with her or not, she is one witty, sharp-tongued diva of the written word. The diverse reactions came as no surprise. Whenever you talk about the “B” word (that’s birthmother)there will be hot and heavy debates swirling all over the place. That is not what surprised me. What I found somewhat of a revelation was the sheer venom of those who disagreed with M.’s right to even blog about the issue. One commenter is still posting about wanting an apology… [more]