A recent email was a first for me. I received an email from a women who is considering adopting a child. She told me that she had read several birth mom blogs and is now reconsidering her decision. The very fact that she is thinking her decision through carefully says alot to me about her character.

She asked for my honest opinion about whether adopting a child would be selfish on her part,and possibly cause pain to another woman. (Sandra, are you reading and gasping by now? Maybe less than you would have before we began our bridge work?)

In... more

So many important issues to deal with in adoption, and yet the subject of what words to use keeps cropping up. You would think that we had already beaten the subject to pieces by now. However, as I have mentioned before, I believe that words have enormous power. Therefore, I think it is important in adoption to choose our words carefully. I believe that it matters.

Granted, there are times when people are too sensitive. I also believe that we will never be able to please everyone. There are also times that it seems burdensome to have to worry... more

The first is “You’re special because you’re adopted”. Why do adoptive parents have to say this? We all know that many of us adoptees thought through the years that if this was true, we weren’t special or there was something wrong with us for our natural mother to relinquish us to adoption. Instead, what one could say instead is “you are adopted and this means you are now part of our family and we love you very much. You are a part of your first family too and maybe someday you will meet your natural parents.

The second is “You were... more

``I've been wanting to tell you something," she said in a near-whisper. ``But I was afraid." Adams leaned toward his mother, whose curly white hair framed her narrow face. ``David," she said, looking straight at him. ``You're adopted."

Story about an 70 year old adoptee. This story is a real doozy! The adoptee was told about his adoption when he was 70 years old. His adoptive mom was... more

Want to do some research? Homework? I have an exercise that I would love as many readers as possible to undertake. Make a trip to your local library or book store, and ask for books on adoption search and reunion. Also, check out the number of books available for people wanting to adopt. Look too for books on birth parents, stories and support. Then come back & let me know what you discover. If I didn’t know that the numbers of adoption searchers were very high, I might believe that there is not a large enough a market for such books. I have not spoken to any book... more

Things happen in life that are out of our control sometimes. We cannot always get what we want, when we want it. Giving birth and raising a child is a miraculous privilege. We cannot always entirely control when and if a woman becomes pregnant - it is a gift.

Women who are infertile know that getting pregnant and/or sustaining a pregnancy is not always possible. I wish that we did not lose sight of what a miracle a child can be even if the timing of a pregnancy may not fit one's timetable. There are valid reasons that adoption may be best for one's child. I am just... more

Blogger Heather just wrote a terrific blog which made me think about priorities in relation to adoption. She put into words some thoughts that I have been pondering lately. The wonderful book, "The Surprise Child" reinforced my belief that if a woman is unexpectedly pregnant, it is possible to shift gears, embrace your pregnancy and child and lovingly raise your child. While it may not always be feasible, I think it is something to strongly consider.... more

Read Part 1 and Part 2. As the concert was ending, the last piece was the rousing and enthusiastic 1812 Overture. It is a very popular musical piece in the U.S. during patriotic events, and even those who may not enjoy classical music usually like the 1812 Overture. It is one of those pieces of classical music that you probably recognize even if you do not know its name.

At just the right times toward the end of the piece,... more

As immersed in all things adoption as I generally am, I have mentioned that I sometimes have to force myself to take a rest from the subject. Last Friday night my husband and I set off for a concert at the local arboretum.

I was wavering about whether I wanted to go or not, but, finally decided that it would be a great way to relax and not think about anything heavy. Adoption is a heavy topic for me in case anyone has missed that! An outdoor concert in the park sounded pretty inviting.

Although my husband enjoys classical music, he does not like the stuffy concert... more

In my life and in my writing about adoption, I am nearly always acutely aware of the need to stay balanced. Balance is so necessary in so many areas of our lives.

In my day-to-day life, it nearly always catches up with me when I lose my sense of balance. When I eat too much, I notice. So does my waistline! If I exercise too seldom I notice. When I sit at the computer too long, I notice. My hands hurt, I get stiff and realize that I am getting old! (Getting old? Nah, I am already there.) If I get too little sleep, yep, it is pretty obvious. Too much... more