Through my association with CUB, I have met many adoptees and birth parents. This blog belongs to a friend of mine. I asked him recently why he thought that he and I agreed on so many issues in adoption. He made a joke about "great minds thinking alike" and I laughed.

Blogger Sandra recently wrote about the anti-adoption folks and I have a blog coming up about that subject. However, reading my friend's blog today, I wanted to share it... more

When I first glanced at this headline , I was thinking "Iraq" and wondering if this president was totally bonkers. The idea of encouraging babymaking in Iraq given the unstability of the country, which is summing up their current situation rather kindly I believe, certainly would be a hard sell.

At a second glance, I noticed that it was the President of Iran, not Iraq. Somehow, I still find it almost offensive that a president of a country feels obliged to announce to his countrymen... more

I’m glad to have seen that begin to change. I hope we will see it change more, and rapidly. I hope I will see a time when the law allows and agencies agree to simply release the information contained in my files to me without interpretation, censorship or qualification. Search is necessitated by the present system of closed records that allows someone else, usually perfect strangers, access to files that contain intimate details of my origins that are hidden from me. It is a ridiculous system and an unintended consequence of actions taken with... more

Triad members are often asked to explain to lawmakers and others exactly what they want. An adult adoptee pal of mine was asked to speak at a continuing education program for social workers about the adoptee's point of view. Here is one adoptee's answer to that age-old question.

In a perfect world, much of what I am about to say would be moot. The primary thing wrong with search, from my perspective as an adoptee, is the lack of openness. Fortunately, I can say that the lack of honesty that characterized how most agencies handled search... more

Does the word “bullies” come to mind after hearing this story? Who is right and who is wrong is subjective in this situation. Yet one side seems hell-bent on trying to tell everyone else what they should do. I personally find that the most offensive part of the whole situation, that THEY seem so certain that their view is sacred and everyone else is wrong and should do as they tell us to do.

I attribute the loss of my son to adoption partially due to a bully. Needless to say, I do not much care for bullies, in fact I really have no... more

The whole adoption world is still fairly new to me even though my son's adoption happened decades ago. My active involvement is only a few years old. However, I've been hanging around long enough to have noticed that even in adoption, there are some big bad bullies. Battle lines are drawn and inevitable skirmishes break out.

Controlling bullies are totally convinced that whatever positions they take are not just opinions, but fact. Their "take" on a given situation is correct, and any other view is "wrong". Therefore, when someone... more

Immediately, I was hooked and continued to read. Although that was the only real mention of adoption, I found the whole article quite interesting. The article mentioned that as early as 1913 Sigmund Freud observed that unburdening yourself of a secret might help your physical, as well as your mental state.

Interesting enough, several birth mothers have told me that their health improved dramatically after reunion. Author, adoptee and therapist Marlou Russell discusses in her reunion story called... more

Keeping a secret is tough enough. But after doing so for many years, older Americans may find it even tougher to let go...

A year or so ago, I signed up to receive email newsletters from AARP (American Association of Retired People). While I am not yet retired, I am old enough for them to know that retirement may not be too far off for me. Anyone over the age of fifty knows that the second you turn 50 years old, the AARP has your invitation in the mail to join. They start working on you, and don't give up easily either.... more

Although I believe that I may have already shared N's Blog with you, I particularly liked this entry of hers, so decided to share it. In this blog entry of hers she says:

I’ve written before that I wish that talking about the ethics (or room for lack of ethics) in adoption didn’t automatically feel like an indictment, to adoptive parents. It doesn’t for all, I know. But many times, the minute I say, “Things need to change. There’s too much pressure in... more

Being angry does not come naturally to me. It is in my nature to be laid back, easy doing and not let things bother me. In fact, I am best known for my smile and cheery disposition. However, I just keep hearing more adoption horror stories that make my blood boil. If I just heard an occasional one, I would believe that they were uncommon. That is not the case.

One of the latest: An adoptee recently was relating her story about having found her birth mother. She spoke to her two weeks ago and had a quite cordial conversation with her. What's wrong... more