I knew that I needed to read this book. I also expected that it would be painful to read. On both counts, I was correct. Many birth mothers feel similarly, and Ann Fessler's book is attracting a great deal of attention amongst those in the adoption community.

Here is today's New York Times review.

Yesterday, I spoke to a birth mother who has been reading this book. She described to me how it has affected her. She told me that she has been reading it late each... more

A new adoption book receiving rave reviews is: “The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade.” One of the "girls" whose story is chronicled in this book is Susan Mello Souza, who has written her own adoption book.

Written by adoptee Ann Fessler, this revealing book chronicles the lives of birth mothers during the notorious "baby scoop" era, many of whom were sent to "maternity homes" to give birth and relinquish their babies. Unwed motherhood was a socially unacceptable, taboo, and... more

As a constant reader, I have a wide variety of sources for the books I read. I order many books on-line. I frequent the large and reader friendly bookstores near my office. Sometimes, I even drop into a local thrift store near my office at lunch.

My latest purchase from the local thrift store was a book about raising children called "Guideposts for Growing Up". The book was copyright in 1969, the year my oldest son was born and adopted into another family. It was written by Elizabeth B. Hurlock, Ph.D, who was an associate in psychology at a graduate school in Pennsylvannia.

When... more

In part 1, I discussed how a book called "Guideposts for Growing Up" advised parents on raising adopted children in 1969. Only one sentence in the discussion about raising adopted children was of great enough importance to be included in italics. The author said that most foster parents would like to know who are the parents of the child they adopt. Then in italics, she said

"This they should never know."

The tone was stern; there was no mistaking that she felt quite certain about this piece of advice.

The reasoning behind never knowing... more

There are some books that just should be ready by every one whether they have no intention of search, or are searching, or had a reunion a long time ago. These books will help all triad members understand what has happened to us as a group of people. I also think that adoption professionals, social workers, counselors, lawyers, judges, doctors, and nurses should read these books so that they can discover what their policies and practices are doing to those affected by adoption.

The first book is Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience by Betty Jean Lifton. Many in the... more

Adoptee Sherrie Eldridge represents the voice of the adopted child in her book Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. This is a resource that will help those in the adoption community as well as society understand adoption from the eyes of a child. A child's voice is often unrecognized or unheard by the adults who are parenting.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is written with in a clear, sensitive, warm and poignant, style. It is filled with wonderful insights, that are a must read for every adoptive parent. I don’t... more

According to Wikipedia, Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) is a sexual attraction between close relatives, such as a brother and sister who first meet as adults.

Often times Genetic Sexual Attraction occurs as a consequence of adoption when the adopted children discover their true ancestry and seek out relatives. Genetic sexual attraction can be very stressful to both parties because the sexual attraction is contrary to the socialized sexual and moral structures including the legal structure of society.... more

"Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman is a blessing. It isn’t just for daughters whose mothers are deceased. Hope Edelman also addresses women who have been abandoned by their mothers and those who have never known their mothers.

I lost my birth mother the first time through adoption and a second time to cervical cancer. I was twenty three years old when I learned of her death 15 months prior. After the initial shock wore off and I had to go back to living my life, I think I acted like I was fine, because I didn't want anyone to know what was going on inside... more

In a previous post, My Favorites I described a few of my favorite books on search and reunion and gave a brief synopsis of some of them.

Here is a more extensive list of search, reunion and adoption healing books. I include books on healing because I believe that there is often a great deal of healing which may occur at reunion. Reunion brings up past issues for many birth moms and they may finally deal with them at reunion. Some adoptees achieve some healing... more

The Other Mother: A Woman’s Love for the Child She Gave Up, by Carol Schaefer is the very first adoption related book I had read. I was 18 years old and it was recommended to me by a family member who is also adopted.

It was this book that inspired me to search for my birth mother. When I finished reading it, there was a list of support groups in the back of the book. I believe there were five organizations listed with the closest to PA being in FL. It was this organization that provided me with information on a local search and support group that I had... more