Visit http://members.cox.net/patrickm/enter.html to view the coming year's calendar as well as a selection of greeting cards.

The calendar and cards capture in words and images some of the unique ideas, thoughts, and feelings involved in adoption which are so often difficult to express, and they feature some excellent photography, as well as a caption for each photo for each month. The calendar is 8 1/2 x 5 1/2 folded, 8 1/2 x 11 hanging and is priced at $14 each.

They make... more

Searching and waiting seem to go hand in hand. Waiting really is the hardest thing to do. One example is that when you contact the adoption agency that handled your adoption you have to wait to hear back from them. If you are a natural parent you are waiting to hear if your child has been in contact with them and if you are an adoptee you are waiting to hear if your natural parent has been in contact with them but also your non identifying information. If you are a natural parent who can initiate a search or an adoptee who is making contact through the agency... more

There are many search angels out there and I applaud each and everyone for the amount of time they volunteer to the search efforts that they do. On the flip side though I have seen search angels doing all the searching and making contact and then things go up in some because it was all done for them.

It is so important that triad members searching be involved in their own search and not just turn it over to a search angel. The reason I say this is because it helps the person who is searching to be aware of what is involved and appreciate the work the... more

When participating in an online mailing list or forum there are few guidelines that I believe are important in order to get the most of the participation.

When you enter into a discussion with another person or group of people, opinions unlike your own may be expressed. Everyone has a right to his/her own opinion and people are more likely to listen when it is expressed respectfully. It is important to voice your thoughts and ideas in a non confrontational manner and to respond to other opinions with respect. You may want to consider not immediately... more

Adoption is a multi-dimensional experience with aspects, good, bad and somewhere in between. It is inevitable at times to get mired in the complicated issues that adoption may present to us. Nowhere is this more applicable than at reunion.

There are issues to work on at reunion generally for both parties. For birth parents, it is common for them to be grieving their loss during reunion. Either they did not grieve enough initially or at all for various reasons. Our society has only recently even acknowledged that loss is present for birth parents and adoptees. Most birth... more

The Social Security Administration has a free locator service. Even if you don’t know the person’s social security number, but you know the person’s complete date of birth and the last name is not too common, ask Social Security to forward your letter to the person. Social Security will not acknowledge receiving your letter, but you can send it by certified return receipt mail for proof of receipt. Neither will Social Security inform you that your letter has been forwarded to the person, but the person can reply to you directly. This resource... more

One of the first things that you want to do when initiating a search is obtain the adoption disclosure law and procedure for the state in which your adoption was finalized.

Begin with a list of all known names, dates, and places. Write down every bit of subsequent information obtained no matter how trivial; you never know what may become important once you have more pieces to the puzzle. Always provide anyone helping in your search with a copy. Talk to relatives and others who may remember something that could help your search. If you... more

Check with the agency to determine if the party that you are searching for has been in touch with them. Unfortunately, many birth parents do not know to do this. If you haven't already done so, ask that a letter or form be included in your file indicating that you want contact. Some agencies have a specific form for this procedure called a "Consent for Contact", or a "Waiver of Confidentiality" can be filed.

In states where it is allowed, some agencies now will undertake searches, generally for a fee. This is governed by state laws, however,... more

One of the questions I have received many times through out my experience in the adoption community is from those who are searching and wanting to know where to go look for information. Below is where you can find much information that is public record. Depending on the state and/or county in which you are searching, information may be accessible on line via the internet.

Local Records—Courthouse Marriage, divorce, veteran, property owners, assessors, probate, recorder of deed, judgments, lawsuits, liens, criminal, and business licenses Public Library... more

For a birth parent searching, once you believe that you have a name, sometimes religious records and/or newspaper birth announcements may be useful in a search. You may know the religion in which an adoptee is raised. Birth parents sometimes request that their child be raised in a certain religion. Their wishes in this regard are not always honored, but, they are sometimes. With a name and religion for a child, it is sometimes possible to locate the nearest church or synagogue that the child may have attended.

You may be obtain to obtain christening, baptismal or other... more