Here are more ideas if you have hit a wall and need some suggestions:

 Some people find each other through newspaper articles about their searches or television shows. Have you tried to get a local newspaper or media interested in your story?

 Are you up-to-date on the current laws in your state as far as access to adoption records? Laws do change and more states are allowing access to records.

 Did you get all hospital records? Sometimes there are clues in the hospital records. If you are a birth mom, you are entitled to your medical... more

Have you hit a wall in your search? Here are a few items to think about that might be helpful:

 Have you been in touch with a local support group? How about an on-line group that deals with searching in your state or community? They may know the best and most reliable searchers around and/or the best methods to access records.

 If you have been searching on your own, is it time to hire a professional adoption searcher or private investigator ("PI")? If you decide to hire a PI, be sure to hire one who is highly recommended if possible. Keep in mind... more

There may be times that you feel nothing will help you ease the tension that searching has brought into your life. However, there are a few things that may make it bearable. The first may be contact with other triad members who are also searching and can appreciate what you are going through. Hearing reunion stories at search and support groups can be encouraging and help to keep you focused on completing your search.

Another suggestion is to keep a journal of what you are experiencing. This is separate from your search journal. This is a place for you to write... more

Have you ever wondered why an adoptee may not want contact with his or her natural mother? This is something that can happen even if the adoptee is searching. The adoptee may be afraid of what the natural mother is going to say or what will happen. As many adoptees do, he or she could have built up expectations and is afraid that the first phone call or meeting won’t live up to what he or she is hoping for. The adoptee may also be afraid of hurting his mother and father that have raised him for the last X number of years.

Some adoptees do not want to disrupt their... more

An adoption search is like putting a puzzle together. Adoption is probably always going to have the shroud of mystery to it. It would take a book, not a blog to list all of the possible puzzle pieces that you may have already acquired. Trying to put the puzzle pieces together can be frustrating as well as obvious that key pieces are missing.

It is frustrating at times to try and discover the mystery of your own life. Many times I have associated adoption search with Nancy Drew, The Case of the Girl without a Past.

There are laws in each state that... more

Do you remember what you picture in your high year book look liked? Were you the class clown, most likely to succeed, or most athletic? Do you remember what the club or sports team photo in your high school year book looked like? Some people may be wondering what adoption search has to do with high school year books. Well, there are many who are searching who will use year books for assistance.

Yearbooks can be very useful especially if you have a partial name or just a first name. Many public libraries have a collection of high school year books for the... more

Once you have decided to search, I think it is very important to speak with your adoptive parents. There are many adoptive parents that have additional information that they were waiting for the “right time” to share with their children. Not sure what to say? Well, below is a sample letter to help you get started.

Dear Mom and Dad:

I love you. Thank you for everything you have done for me since you brought me into your home. I need your help and understanding today. After a lot of thought and soul searching, I have decided to search for my biological past.... more

Adoption is a life long experience and the issues that come along with it can be very difficult. Each person copes with adoption issues in a unique way. Whether you are an adoptee, adoptive parent, birth parent, sibling or other family member, you may feel anger, guilt, shame, insecurity, fear, powerlessness, despair and depression. You are not alone in all of these emotions and there are people who can help you understand them and support you as you work through it.

Family relationships may change as individuals react differently to the adopted life experience.... more

Has anyone felt at times that the adoption thing becomes too much? Have you ever felt as if you need to take a break from it? Even when you feel like you need a break do you find yourself still reading blogs, answering posts, or talking about it?

Sometimes I think back to when I was searching and recall the times that I felt as I needed a break but couldn’t stop obsessing about finding my natural mother. Grant you, that I am adopted. That is a fact and the subject is always going to be a constant in my life and that there is no alternative. I personally can’t ever... more

Birth Mother’s Day has been celebrated on the day before Mother’s Day. I am not sure why and at times have felt that it should be celebrated on the same day. However, in speaking with some natural mothers they feel that a separate day recognizes their motherhood as one of loss and separation as well as love and connection. So many natural mothers were treated like criminals, abandoned by their families, society, and the child’s fathers. This is not a traditional experience or the sentiments associated with the Mother’s Day traditions. I now understand that a separate... more