Since I was not at the conference long, I did not have much of a chance to mingle and talk to people. However, a large black man enthusiastically shared his story with me and told me all about his family. He proudly showed me a picture taken at the convention with his wife and three of their five children, all of whom were adopted. His three stunningly beautiful daughters were black, as he was, but, his wife was white.

This man was clearly like many of the adoptive parent bloggers at adoptionblogs.com who had large, loving and happy families.... more

Check with the agency to determine if the party that you are searching for has been in touch with them. Unfortunately, many birth parents do not know to do this. If you haven't already done so, ask that a letter or form be included in your file indicating that you want contact. Some agencies have a specific form for this procedure called a "Consent for Contact", or a "Waiver of Confidentiality" can be filed.

In states where it is allowed, some agencies now will undertake searches, generally for a fee. This is governed by state laws, however,... more

Surfing the internet/world wide web can be an excellent tool in the adoption search but should not replace human contact or one on one face to face interaction. While surfing the web you can travel any where but takes some navigation.

To go anywhere on the world wide web you need a URL which stands for Uniform Resource Locator. The URL is an address that points to each site. When typing in the URL you always want to include “www” Spelling or typing errors in the URL are the most common error in not being able to view the web page... more

The first is “You’re special because you’re adopted”. Why do adoptive parents have to say this? We all know that many of us adoptees thought through the years that if this was true, we weren’t special or there was something wrong with us for our natural mother to relinquish us to adoption. Instead, what one could say instead is “you are adopted and this means you are now part of our family and we love you very much. You are a part of your first family too and maybe someday you will meet your natural parents.

The second is “You were... more

When dealing with grief includes feelings of isolation, hopelessness and despair which may lead to depression, marital difficulties, alcoholism, and drug addiction. In adoption loss, a natural mothers children that she is raising may mistake their parents anguish as a sign that they loved the relinquished child more than they love them. Friends, relatives, and even professionals may not fully understand these emotions and reactions. They may even make life more difficult with the well intentioned but insensitive remarks or with a desire to have you forget the past before... more

As I was reading AdoptionWeekly emagazine's current issue recently, I noticed an article about another great registry for adoption searches.

Reunions Mean Success for Longtime Carson City Nonprofit - Nevada Appeal

After 31 years in the profession of matching lost family members, the small staff of this Carson City nonprofit agency have piles of thank-you letters and... more

In part 1, I mentioned that my friend Kim sent me a link that she had found and wondered about. The link took me to the adoption.com registry. I clicked it, gasped in amazement, and then quickly emailed Kim back. Her children's information was right there in front of my eyes - their birth mother had registered and wanted to contact them.

I explained to Kim about the registry and two dates popped out on the registry. The first date was the... more

Some time ago, I wrote a blog about state-run registries, and lamented about the fact that they rarely work. One of the major issues that makes the registries run by states produce neglible results is the lack of manpower and money to run the registry. The other factor is that state registries are not well publicized, so they may not be widely used. I believe I said previously that I have never met a single person who was reunited through their state's registry.

However, Adoption.com has a registry that does work. Here's the Adoption.com... more

“Grief and sadness knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger than common joys”

Alphonse de Lamartine

When I began blogging at AdoptionBlogs.com, I was delighted to know that Heather Lowe was planning to blog about crisis pregnancy. Though I had never met Heather, I was intimately familiar with a booklet that she had written called What You Should Know if You Are Considering Adoption for Your Baby. This booklet is well-respected amongst birth... more

Part 1 Curious as to what the mega-bookstore had in stock, I asked the clerk for the location of books about books on adoption search and reunion. After a silence and a quizzical look, he finally offered that they might be mixed in with all the other adoption books. There were 2-3 shelves of books on adoption. Amongst all the books, I was pleased to see both of Nancy Verrier’s books, "The Primal Wound" and "Coming Home to Self".

However,... more