I learned so much at the conference and heard so many interesting stories, that it will a few blogs more to share portions of the conference with you. Okay, back to my first chat ever with an adoption attorney. If you are an adoptive parent, talking to an attorney that handles adoptions may not be a particularly significant event.

However, for a birth mom like me, it was an atypical experience. When we first began chatting, she asked me "what I did", and I mentioned some of my projects. Next,I asked her what her connection was to adoption.... more

Before I talk about that brief exchange with the adoption attorney at the conference, I will share some of what I learned (or had reinforced)about searching at the conference;

1) "You can run, but you cannot hide". Marilyn Waugh, a talented searcher who presented two of the sessions that I attended, made this comment that at the beginning of one of her presentations. She stressed that the majority of people leave paper trails. "Even without a name," she said, "you can generally find someone."

2) She spoke about using Confidential... more

The Social Security Administration has a free locator service. Even if you don’t know the person’s social security number, but you know the person’s complete date of birth and the last name is not too common, ask Social Security to forward your letter to the person. Social Security will not acknowledge receiving your letter, but you can send it by certified return receipt mail for proof of receipt. Neither will Social Security inform you that your letter has been forwarded to the person, but the person can reply to you directly. This resource... more

Last Saturday, I spent the day immersed in adoption at the AAC conference. The conference was entitled "Creating the Empowered Reunion". Workshops were available on a variety of search and reunion topics, however, I concentrated on the search discussions.

It was a full day. By the end of the day, my mind was swirling after hearing all the various adoption stories and talking to a wide variety of triad members and adoption professionals. Adoption conferences are an excellent way to learn, and have a chance to meet people with both similar... more

One of the first things that you want to do when initiating a search is obtain the adoption disclosure law and procedure for the state in which your adoption was finalized.

Begin with a list of all known names, dates, and places. Write down every bit of subsequent information obtained no matter how trivial; you never know what may become important once you have more pieces to the puzzle. Always provide anyone helping in your search with a copy. Talk to relatives and others who may remember something that could help your search. If you... more

Gwen is one very cool Texas adoptive mom. This post of hers is honest, thought-provoking, and made me smile.

I first ran into Gwen in blogland a few months ago. Amongst birth moms, she is a favorite. I think if you check out some of her blog posts, you will discover why. Check out this blog entry, and see what YOU think.

This comment of hers particularly struck a chord with me.

I learned that my daughter can only be closer to me when I honor her. She learned that Mom is not so afraid... more

Back to dinner - one of the males in our group was our friend, Nancy's boyfriend who had flown in from back East to help her move. He had seen each of us birth moms on video tape, so, he had a sneak preview of us before we all met for dinner. Nancy is in her late 20’s and after moving to California for school decided to attend some CUB meetings. Although she rarely said much, she listened a great deal.

Every so often in the past year or so, someone would ask her if she had an interest in searching, and she would say that she planned to... more

Last week, I had dinner with some friends from CUB (Concerned United Birthparents). Six of us met to say goodbye to a very special adoptee that we met in our support group. Our group consisted of Nancy, the adoptee, three birth moms and two male significant others. Nancy had been in California to attend a local college and is now heading home.

For one of her classes, she decided to write about the effects of relinquishment on birth moms and we three birth moms were all interviewed by her... more

Part 1 and Part 2. Continuing with the friendly adoptive dad's story....Two of his children were under two years of age when they were adopted, he told me. His oldest son was adopted at age 12. He shared with me how much the son that they adopted at age 12 had matured and become a healthy, happy child. This dad touched me on so many levels as he... more

On Saturday, I went to sit for a short time with a adoptee who had an exhibit table at a local adoption conference. The conference was sponsored by the North American Counsel for Adoptable Children. Her table had literature, etc. for the American Adoption Congress whose stated mission is:

The American Adoption Congress comprises individuals, families and organizations committed to adoption reform. We represent those whose lives are touched by adoption or other loss of family continuity.

We promote honesty, openness and... more