As I often talk about how important support groups can be, I have decided to begin a series to highlight some groups in specific states. Support groups can be lifesavers for those in search and reunion, or just dealing with other adoption issues. The support group that I know best is a national group called Concerned United Birthparents (“CUB”).

CUB recently modified their bylaws to permit a new type of group, Support Groups. These groups have fewer administrative requirements than branches... more

I have been to the point in my life where I was searching for understanding about myself.

I did a lot of soul searching for why I am and who I am and how I got to the place that I am today.

The experience of adoption has had a very large impact on where I am in my life today. The book “The Other Mother” by Carol Schaefer opened my eyes. It helped me initiate a search for my natural family and figure out why I had let or allowed others control me, why I had a difficult time making decisions and why I would hold onto everything so tight.

I... more

September 11 forever has a pronounced meaning for all Americans. It sounds selfish perhaps, but, I am glad that it did not fall on my birthday or my son's. Only a day separates it from my birthday, and two for my son, but still, I am grateful for that.

The day is one that most of us will remember with great clarity, horror and sadness, just as we recall other significant events during our lifetimes. I have lived long enough to remember the first walk on the moon, the day JFK died, the day Princess Diana died and several other tragic and/or significant... more

Though out my years involved in the adoption community and as the internet has become a tool for searching it can be one of the most powerful tools available to you in your adoption search. It is a powerful tool because of the people who use it. This is particularly true when it comes to triad members searching.

There are many popular online mailing lists where you can find support and encouragement as you embark on your adoption search.

For myself I belong to several mailing lists to keep current on changes in regards to adoption law, access... more

Adoption is a multi-dimensional experience with aspects, good, bad and somewhere in between. It is inevitable at times to get mired in the complicated issues that adoption may present to us. Nowhere is this more applicable than at reunion.

There are issues to work on at reunion generally for both parties. For birth parents, it is common for them to be grieving their loss during reunion. Either they did not grieve enough initially or at all for various reasons. Our society has only recently even acknowledged that loss is present for birth parents and adoptees. Most birth... more

Adoptive parents are the one part of the triad that I know least. That is changing though. Except for my one adoptive mom friend that I walk with once a week, the adoptive moms that I generally meet are on-line. Honestly, I think until I got to know more adoptive moms, I was uncertain as to how many really "enlightened" adoptive moms there were.

Happily, I am discovering quite a few more than I expected. "Enlightened" in my view I suppose equates to being educated about adoption and less willing to cling to the archaic old notions. Of course, I particularly... more

The Coalition for Adoption Registry Ethics (CARE) was created because of the need for standardization of policies and procedures of online reunion registries. They are concerned with the practices of some online reunion registries, such as selling information that was previously promised to be confidential.

The situation above is just one example of a exploitation of the online search community. CARE’s goal is to provide a way for the online searching adoption community to safely search for birth relatives online without being exploited for profit.

The... more

We've grown into a community here at the adoption.com blogs and I am enjoying getting to know so many of you from your posts. However, lately I have missed some of my other on-line blogging friends. There has not been enough time to read my other favorite blogs.

A solution has come to mind! Each week I am going to feature one or two favorite bloggers and share them with you here. Some I will post from this blog, others from my FirstParent blog. The photo above will indicate a feature about blogger that I have bookmarked and/or or particularly enjoy. ... more

As I mentioned in part 4 of my saga about the regional AAC conference that I attended recently, one of the keynote speakers was 22 year-old Adam McDermott. His talk was poignant and moving for many reasons. First, he spoke of what "growing up adopted" meant to him. Adam's been blessed with a good life and he appears to be a stable, well-adjusted young man. Yet, I winced when he spoke of being grateful to his birth mom for not "cutting me short".

I thought it was an interesting way to phrase his gratefulness to his birth mother for relinquishing... more

Now...to the stories of people I met at the conference. In one day's time, I was able to cram in alot of chatter with others. Although the conference was in Portland, several of my Southern California birth mom and adoptee friends were in attendance. It is always comforting to see a few familiar faces in a sea of new people to meet.

One of my favorite adoptee friends was at the conference with his sister who lives in the Portland area. He had spoken about her before, but, we had never met. J. is a birth mom and an adoptee, and is on the... more