When women relinquish children to adoption, there seem to be a number of stock comments that many of them hear repeatedly. These comments may begin before the baby is born, and continue throughout a woman's lifetime. When a birth mom expresses sadness, regret or sorrow, instead of having her feeling validated, here is what she is often told:

 Get over it, put “it” in the past;  You were too young to be a mother, it would have ruined your life;  You have no right to that child; you are not its mother anymore;  The best... more

I am addressing this blog to the birth parents who are reading. As an adoptee, in my writings, I feel as if sometimes I over look you The birth parents is a contributor to the adoption with great sacrifice. A sacrifice that I can not walk for you but am going to make an attempt to write about adoption from your point of view. Let’s see how I do.

Relinquishing a child to adoption is not an easy thing to do. It doesn’t matter if it is at the time of placement or years later. The first question I have is how do you get through the experience? My second... more

Take a look at the little boy in this photo. Try to imagine that this cute little tyke was yours. Would you want to know him even if someone else had raised him?

I know many birth moms who have searched for their children. They were determined to locate their children, and felt strongly that they had every right to do so. However, I know even more birth moms who did not search. They felt as though they had no right to do so and were afraid to search.

Many adoptees express the sentiment that if their birth family wanted to know them, they would find... more

One of the most poignant questions I have been asked by an adoptee is" Do you think my birth mother ever thinks of me?"

Adoptees want to know:

 Does she think about me?  Does she miss me?  Would she welcome me back into her life?  Does she love me?  Did she willingly "give me up"?  Is she okay with her decision?

Below are real comments from birth mothers who have been in touch with me – about searching – being found – loving their children – and missing their relinquished... more