Sometimes we scoff at certain holidays. We wonder if perhaps some of our these events must certainly have been invented by florists and/or greeting card makers. Certainly, there are many commercial aspects to many of our holidays. We even threaten to boycott certain events since we have become so suspicious of the origins of certain celebration days.

Mothers' Day is not a holiday that too many of us ignore. Most people revere mothers and justly feel that they are most deserving of honor and praise.

Julia Ward Howe, one of the inventors of Mothers' Day holiday believed:... more

Have you ever wondered why an adoptee may not want contact with his or her natural mother? This is something that can happen even if the adoptee is searching. The adoptee may be afraid of what the natural mother is going to say or what will happen. As many adoptees do, he or she could have built up expectations and is afraid that the first phone call or meeting won’t live up to what he or she is hoping for. The adoptee may also be afraid of hurting his mother and father that have raised him for the last X number of years.

Some adoptees do not want to disrupt their... more

The third film was the only one of the three films that I had not previously seen. I enjoy her movies so much that I want to see them over and over. Each time I see them, I thoroughly appreciate enjoy seeing them. Film 3 was the newest of her adoption movies and deals with siblings relationships.

Jean grew up with one other sibling in her adoptive family, a brother that her family had also adopted. When they were younger, they were quite close. Due to various circumstances including his mental illness, their relationship has suffered.

Sibling relationships in... more

Recently I read a blog entry by Dr. G. that she described as being "unabashedly biased". I am not certain that I agree with her. She made some important distinctions that are often overlooked when discussing whether adoption is "a good thing" or not.

Here's part of what she said:

There will be absolutely no objectivity and no effort will be made to present a balanced picture of adoption. The only qualifier I am willing to concede to is that I am talking about loving... more

Regardless of what we say, all of us experience guilt. Guilt is not always bad. Sometimes we can use it to make positive changes. Other times, guilt can overwhelm us and we become imprisoned in shame. Our responsibilities to ourselves and to others can be immense. We want to live the dreams we have for ourselves and to feel successful in our lives. We want to have our hobbies, our interests and our desires.

Even though all of us feel guilt, some feel it more deeply than others. It has appeared to me that guilt seems to play a more active role in the lives of triad... more

Adoption is a life long experience and the issues that come along with it can be very difficult. Each person copes with adoption issues in a unique way. Whether you are an adoptee, adoptive parent, birth parent, sibling or other family member, you may feel anger, guilt, shame, insecurity, fear, powerlessness, despair and depression. You are not alone in all of these emotions and there are people who can help you understand them and support you as you work through it.

Family relationships may change as individuals react differently to the adopted life experience.... more

Has anyone felt at times that the adoption thing becomes too much? Have you ever felt as if you need to take a break from it? Even when you feel like you need a break do you find yourself still reading blogs, answering posts, or talking about it?

Sometimes I think back to when I was searching and recall the times that I felt as I needed a break but couldn’t stop obsessing about finding my natural mother. Grant you, that I am adopted. That is a fact and the subject is always going to be a constant in my life and that there is no alternative. I personally can’t ever... more

Last Sunday, my lively 7-year old granddaughter, rang me up on the telephone and asked if she could come over. I rarely refuse her requests, and did not on this occasion. She knows what to expect whenever she visits. I like to think that is part of why she likes coming over.

Whenever she is here; she receives a great deal of undivided attention. We unabashedly dote on her and have a blast with her. There is a special low drawer full of toys, she checks out first when she arrives. She is a budding artist, so, she is always assured there's an ample supply of crayons and... more

Intimacy being the sixth core issue in adoption is the loss, feelings of rejection, shame and grief, and incomplete sense of self may hinder the development of intimacy for triad members. Triad members avoid possible reenactment of previous losses is to avoid closeness and commitment.

Triad members may hold back a part of themselves in a relationship. There may be difficulties in bonding and attachment. Intamacy issues may be more obvious in relationships with members of the opposite sex because of questions in regards to conception, biological or genetic concerns... more

The fourth core issue in adoption is Grief. All losses whether in adoption or not must be grieved. However, losses in adoption, like miscarriage are difficult to mourn. Adoption is seen as by society as a better alternative to adoption and is seen as a problem solving event that is filled with joy. Unlike death of a loved one there are no rituals, and no ceremonies. The grief of adoption can return in triad member’s lives at times of subsequent loss such as the death of an adoptees adoptive parent.

If the grief is delayed it can lead to depression, or acting out... more