I have been thinking about topics to write about and this evening I thought about a triad member that I know and a discussion we recently had in regards to the fear of intimacy.

Those of us who have a fear of intimacy it is because we have a fear of abandonment, betrayal and rejection. We have these fears because of our adoption experience, a life experience, or a combination of both. The feelings of being emotionally abandoned, rejected and betrayed are experienced for those whose lives are touched by adoption because as adoptees, our natural... more

Not certain if anyone has noticed or not, but, blogger Sandra and are are making inroads to building a bridge of understanding of sorts between us. Early on in our blogging, Sandra made a comment or two on my blog that made it clear to me that we were at odds with each other.

Conversely, the comments I considered leaving on her blog, but didn't, also reflected that we felt polar opposites in our views on adoption. Come to think of it, I think my restraint was not totally effective. I may have left at least a comment or two on her blog as well. We are both... more

Please note: the banner at right will become my regular caution that I am discussing a particularly hot topic. It will be a warning for the thin-skinned who want/need to avoid controversy.

By now, I can hear the gears turning for anyone who read part 1 of this post. What practices is she talking about that are so clear cut that they are "right" or "wrong". No revelations here really - mostly many of the practices that I often mention. You know just the usual - mainly practices... more

One day, Tony confessed that he didn't like being the skeleton in someone's closet. He didn't like being the object of shame. With this, I was faced by a choice: I could, in essence, lose my son a second time to shame and society's approbation, or I could choose differently this time, claiming my son and his place in my life.

Recently, I have commented on how I sometimes long for lighter subjects. You know...funny comments made by my children or cute things that they have done. Many of our bloggers have young children, and... more

Last night, my husband and I had a conversation where I shared a fear that I have with him. His response was that fears are based on assumptions and used the analogy of your in the woods and fear a lion….you assume the lion is going to attack so that is why you are afraid. I had no response and have been mulling over this thought process ever since.

I think what he was trying to say is that I had to figure out is determine what my fear is based on. You can’t beat what isn’t real and you can’t overcome what is real if you won’t admit... more

If the child successfully goes through the first healthy attachment cycle during his or her first year of life then he or she most likely will be able to go through the second which is child wants, caregiver sets limit of NO, child will accept limit, test, or defy limit, and caregiver responds appropriately.

Be the child going through the second attachment cycle is how the child learns to accept limits on his or her behavior. The child learns to trust, and regulate his or her emotions. A child starts to develop a conscience, self esteem, empathy,... more

Reactive Attachment Disorder is a very real illness. Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder are reacting to events in their lives. It is because of these events that children may be unable to attach to a primary caregiver and go through the normal development that children must go through in order to function in relationships. I have simplified my explanation in hopes that it may help someone. It does not replace a diagnosis from an attachment therapist.

During the first two years of a child life, they go through healthy attachment cycles.... more

Part 1 and Part 2. Continuing with the friendly adoptive dad's story....Two of his children were under two years of age when they were adopted, he told me. His oldest son was adopted at age 12. He shared with me how much the son that they adopted at age 12 had matured and become a healthy, happy child. This dad touched me on so many levels as he... more

For adoptive parents, this site provides some information on how to help raise adopted children. One link that I found of interest was to an on-line course offered by "Adoption Learning Partners". The course is called, "Finding the Missing Pieces - Helping Adopted Children Cope With Grief and Loss". This course is free, but they charge $30 for a Certificate of Completion.

Several other courses are available. Here is the link... more

``I've been wanting to tell you something," she said in a near-whisper. ``But I was afraid." Adams leaned toward his mother, whose curly white hair framed her narrow face. ``David," she said, looking straight at him. ``You're adopted."

Story about an 70 year old adoptee. This story is a real doozy! The adoptee was told about his adoption when he was 70 years old. His adoptive mom was... more