The number of folks on the internet grows daily. I am not aware of any exact numbers of how many triad members searching are using the internet as an aid in their search. Since the numbers grow every day, I thought it would be good to address searching on the internet.

Search engines are a wonderful asset. You can enter the name you are searching for into a search engine in homes of finding he person listed on some website. If you put the name in quotation marks will aid you by finding the exact name you are searching for. In some cases if you enter a phone number... more

Some adoption agencies are now offering “post-adoption services”. In some cases, this includes searches.

Here are a few facts to remember about agency searches:

 Depending on state law, searches may only be offered on the behalf of the adoptee. However, some states and/or agencies will provide searches for birth or adoptive parents, siblings and/or other birth relatives.

 All the agencies that I have found that offer searches charge a fee for this service. Some may provide special hardship waivers, however, I imagine that waiving the... more

If you haven’t noticed yet, the majority of the adoptees that search are females. However, I do think that with the internet, more male adoptees are starting to search. When I look at the PARR database, most of the folks registered are between the years of 1966-1972. There are more adoptees searching than birth moms. The opposite is true for the adoptions of the 1980’s. There are more birth mothers searching than adoptees. I think that what birth mothers were told had changed by the 1980’s and that is why they feel more free to search. As for birth fathers,... more

I think that there is a time during search that everyone feels like their search is difficult. What I am going to write about is meant more for those who have been searching for a period of years or even decades. The information contained here is in RARE cases and is more than likely NOT the case if you have been searching for someone for a few months. Some of what I write may be applicable in one state and not in another. The state specific search and support groups will be able to guide you in regards to your specific state.

It is rare that an adoption... more

Dr's G's post about reunions and adolescents has emboldened me to discuss this subject as well. It is a somewhat controversial subject, but, hey, aren’t many of these adoption dilemmas? I know several birth mothers that either located and/or were found by adoptive parents before their children were grown. Reunions did occur in all of these situations.

I was quite interested to hear Dr. G’s thoughts on this subject. The fact that she even considers the possibility of... more

An experience that I have had recently made me thing about the vulnerability that those searching put themselves in when posting on the internet, in guest books, registries, or posting to message boards. I would like to see everyone out there searching to be careful but always be yourself. Surround yourself with reputable groups and people in the adoption community and always seek out ethical search options.

During your search, no matter what part of the triad you are, there are some cautions that I think that each of us need to take. A majority of the folks in the adoption... more

An adoptee is most states is considered an adult at the age of 18. This may be the time the birth parents have a strong urge to search. During your search, if you choose to do so, you may want to think about and prepare for that the adoptee might not be able to understand fully what it was like for you when you relinquished him or her to adoption.

In the closed adoption era, it was assumed (we know what it means to assume) that birth parents would never search for their child they relinquished to adoption and never for a minor child. I believe the birth parents... more

I am addressing this blog to the birth parents who are reading. As an adoptee, in my writings, I feel as if sometimes I over look you The birth parents is a contributor to the adoption with great sacrifice. A sacrifice that I can not walk for you but am going to make an attempt to write about adoption from your point of view. Let’s see how I do.

Relinquishing a child to adoption is not an easy thing to do. It doesn’t matter if it is at the time of placement or years later. The first question I have is how do you get through the experience? My second... more

Birth parents at the time of adoption seem to disappear only to take form later on in the adoptee. I think there are few expectations that adoptive parents have and many will know little about their child’s birth parents. Grant you that this is more prevalent in international adoption and may be a result of political, cultural and social influences that encourage adoption. However, this can, in my opinion, encourage the practice of shame and other negative issues in adoption such as secrecy.

I guess that as my husband and I consider adoption internationally,... more

Every search is unique but there are a number of steps and resources common to most searches. Many of the points that I am going to make also can be applied to adoptees searching which I have touched on in previous blogs.

One of the first thing is that when a birth parent initiating the search the birth parents should prepare emotionally for the search process. One way to do this is by reading about other birth parent search and reunion experiences. Another way would be by taking to others who are going through or have gone through the same process. Support... more