There was a point in my life that I wondered how I got to where I was. Finally at the age of 21 I took an active step in finding out and initiated a search for my natural family. I knew virtually nothing about what had happened to me the first four days of my life and why. Through search I had hoped to find the answers.

When I initiated my search the internet wasn’t what it was today and it wasn’t until I was into my search that I had a computer or access to email. I wasn’t able or didn’t know how to search for books written on... more

13 If you are an adoptee and do not know how long your natural mother kept you, try contacting the primary newspapers in your town of birth to try to get your birth notice. Often, if it was known the natural mother intended to relinquish a child the hospital would not give the birth info to the newspapers -- some actually would stamp "DNP" on the records (Do Not Publish) so no mistake would be made. HOWEVER, if no decision had been made at the time of your birth it is possible it made it to the paper. A long shot, but worth a phone call... more

13 If adopted, find out if your hospital had birth journals -- small handwritten books of births, often called ob/gyn logs. You can try the records dept, archives dept, or the birth registrar's office, division of medical records. Wherever you go, try not to say the word "adoption" but try "genealogical research". Keep in mind that hospitals are not required to keep your actual records forever. 14 Natural mothers should contact the hospital and doctor and billing departments of hospitals to get their records. Who knows what... more

7 Whether you are a natural parent or an adoptee, file waivers of confidentiality. This is to reassure record keepers that if the persons you specify come looking for you, you WANT them to get your identifying info. There are no guarantees, but it may very well help. You want to file these with the agency, attorneys, but especially with the county court in which the adoption was finalized, which is usually the county the adoptive parents lived at the time of the adoption. If you are a natural parent and do not know what county your child... more

3 Register with the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR). Information regarding this registry can be found at www.isrr.net 4 Adoptees should talk as much as you can to your parents. They may know more than they would volunteer, but might share with you if you ask. It is understandable to be scared of hurting them so you may want to explain that your searching has nothing to do with them but everything to do with yourself.

Also talk to other family members such as aunts,... more

1. Organize yourself. Get files and notebooks, keep a sheet accumulating the info you have learned, and a log showing what you did, when, and the results. Not only will this keep you organized, it will show you where you are and have been which comes in handy during those down times. It also gives you an area in which to brainstorm.

Under a tab heading in your binder, make a place for all the documents you have accumulated in your search. This should include copies of (always place originals in a safe place) your birth certificate,... more

The group number is not related to geography. It is the order in which social security numbers are issued for a particular area. Before 1965 half the group numbers were used. Odd numbers were used below 10 and even numbers were used above 9. After 1965 the group number assignments changed so they continued with the low even numbers and high odd numbers. Group numbers for each are assigned in the following order:

Odd numbers, 01 to 09 Even numbers, 10 to 98 Even numbers, 02 to 08 Odd numbers, 11 to 99

All possible... more

A social security number consists of nine digits separated by a hyphen. The first three digit field is called the area number. The middle two numbers is called the group number and the final four numbers are called the serial number.

The area numbers (the first three digits of a social security number) are assigned to geographical locations. They were originally assigned the same way that zip codes were later assigned. The area numbers increase from east to west across the United States like zip codes do. The area numbers are... more

Shortly before the concert started a large extended family, staked out their claim by spreading out their blanket and chairs quite near us. Two young girls in their group were excitedly chatting before the concert. While I have all the tolerance in the world for my grandchildren's vocal nature, sometimes when I am aiming for serenity and peace, other loud children sometimes annoy me. I blame it partially on getting old and cranky as well.

Initially, I worried a bit that these two little girls were going to be a pain, and disturb our peaceful evening. Glancing at my husband,... more

I walk a tightrope when I discuss birth mothers with adoptive parents.

Some birth moms are understandably bitter and anger. Expressing that anger in appropriate ways is healthy, however, being overly hostile when dealing with other triad members is counter productive. People tune out if there is too much anger. In addition, they may sometimes dismiss someone that they believe is too unstable.

When I talk about birth mothers in general, I want to present as balanced a picture as possible. Most of the birth moms I know have suffered grievously... more