Being angry does not come naturally to me. It is in my nature to be laid back, easy doing and not let things bother me. In fact, I am best known for my smile and cheery disposition. However, I just keep hearing more adoption horror stories that make my blood boil. If I just heard an occasional one, I would believe that they were uncommon. That is not the case.

One of the latest: An adoptee recently was relating her story about having found her birth mother. She spoke to her two weeks ago and had a quite cordial conversation with her. What's wrong... more

Marriage records are open to the public, as well as divorce records. If you know either of your natural parent’s names you can go to the Marriage License office in the local court house and a clerk will assist you in checking for a marriage license. You need only the first and last name of the person you are searching for since most localities are indexed by both parties’ names who are applying for the license. Ask for a 10 year search of records after your birth. If you can't find records for your natural parents, check for possible relatives.... more

On with the debate... Part 1 is here. Maybe we should get an equal number of birth moms, adoptive moms and adoptees in a room together and duke it out – like Sandra and I did recently on-line.

Do you think then that we could come up with a consensus on the best words to use in adoption? What would it take for that to happen? Think it would work? Would there be enough agreement on any words, or would it be an impossible feat? What if the majority ruled? ... more

Grab your cup of coffee, and let's talk about some of the search and reunion issues on your mind. Karen and I have blogging about this subject for awhile now and we have covered alot. We have been fortunate to receive our fair share of comments, but, we would love even more input.

We have talked about how to begin a search, helpful data bases and resources available. Since emotions are such a huge factor in adoption search and reunion, we have blogged about many of those issues. Karen, as an adoptee who searched and found the grave of her natural mother at the end... more

One of the initial tasks in searching is gathering information and documents. It is obvious why some documents are important. However, you may not understand the significance of others. One of the first documents that you are generally instructed to try to obtain is your non-identifying ("non-ID"). It comes from the agency or state in most instances.

There are many clues in the non-identifying information, even though you may not immediately recognize them. For instance, the occupation of the birth parents are often listed in the non-id... more

Although I have read a great deal about laws in each state which dictate access to adoption records, I recently discovered that a few states even have laws which specifically address adoption searches. I believe that they are perhaps referring to a search that is being conducted through the state. It is worth checking in your state if you are contemplating a search.

Here is the link for Wisconsin, one of the states I found has specific laws which address adoption search. Below... more

Identifying information is any information that may lead to the positive identification of an adopted person, natural parents, or other natural relatives. Identifying information includes the current name of the person. It usually also includes an address or other contact information so that adopted persons and natural relatives can arrange personal contact.

The statutes in nearly all States permit the release of identifying information when the person whose information is sought has consented to the release. New Jersey, the District of... more

In nearly all States, adoption records are sealed and withheld from public inspection after the adoption is finalized. Most States have instituted procedures by which parties to an adoption may obtain non identifying and identifying information from an adoption record while still protecting the interests of all parties.

Non identifying information is generally limited to descriptive details about an adopted person and the adopted person’s birth relatives and is provided to the adopting parents at the time of the adoption. Non identifying... more

The Salvation Army has a missing persons division in each of four territorial regions. Their national headquarters for maternity home records information is at the Georgia address below. The website it: http://salvationarmy-usaeast.org/find/booth_babies.htm

Eastern Territory Headquarters for CT, DE, ME, MA, NH, NJ, NY, OH, PA, VT, RI —120 West 14th St., New York City, NY 10011;

Central Territory Headquarters for IL, IN, IA, KS, MI, MN, MO, NE, ND, SD, WI —2258... more

It is my understanding that most maternity homes that existed in the closed adoption era did not instruct about pregnancy, labor, delivery, and were left totally alone during labor and delivery and were not allowed contact with the new mothers, were not provided information about welfare and aid to families with dependent children, child support and other government programs if they existed at the time.

Girls forced to live in maternity homes were in some cases made to use ficticious names or first names and last initials only. They... more