This photo is one that I took a few years ago in Paris. Don't ask what it has to do with the subject of this blog - there is no correlation. I just liked this photo and wanted to use it!

Our new adoptee blogger Jupe is not an anguished adoptee who blames every problem or issue in her life on her adoption. In fact, in her past few blogs she has said that she is hard pressed to identify issues that are specific to adoption (or words to that effect.) I commented that I do believe that there are some issues that are unique to adoptees. Jupe's response is below.

I... more

If you begin a search, you have no idea where it might lead you. Some searches may involve other countries, sometimes unexpectedly so. I did have to stretch my imagination to tie in the Eiffel Tower to this post! The Eiffel Tower happens to be a favorite of mine.

Adoption searches can lead you to different states or countries. One adoptee that I know found her birth family in Finland.

With a new year beginning soon, are you considering a search? Here are some beginning steps: 1. Register with... more

For anyone who celebrates the holiday, Merry Christmas! If you celebrate another holiday, I wish you good wishes for whatever holiday you do celebrate.

Some suggestions have been offered for Christmas presents for triad members. As a reunited mother, I have thought what could have made a difference to me over the years when my son and I were still apart. Photos and information about him would have been welcomed and cherished.

However, I think that best present that anyone can ever give a birth/first mother is... more

Last Sunday night, a segment of 60 minutes caught my interest. The comment above was part of a story line about a new service at a local childrens’ group home, Five Acres, called, “Family Finders.” I am familiar with Five Acres as I spent several years involved with a group that helps children in foster homes, including Five Acres.

“They told us that she would be adopted, and so we should stop calling.”

“Family Finders” is a new program instigated recently to help find family members for the most... more

On Thanksgiving Day, my son Chris called to wish me Happy Thanksgiving. (I know that it is nearly Christmas, but I am way behind.) We chatted for awhile and he told me about the gathering of family on turkey day in his part of the country. The family group sounded fairly large this year. It included Chris, his brother and financee, his brother's child, their mom (adoptive), their dad (divorced from the mom)and his brother's birth mom and a few others.

It was funny when he mentioned that his brother's birth mom was invited. He quickly mentioned it was because... more

I applaud the adoptees who are conscious of the feelings of hose around them. These are the folks who realize that search isn’t all about them and what they need and desire. It is important to have some respect to the adoptive parents. The adoptive parents are deserving of that respect and they are deserving to come to terms with adoption search in their own way.

It is so much more than searching or being found. There is so much that happens in the discovery process and to make assumptions about what the adoptee is feeling is wrong. All triad members... more

Taking the time for you as an adoptee to go through a decision making process that involves your own thoughts does not make you a selfish spoiled person. It is also okay to think about the spiritual aspects of your placement.

For some your religious identify may be an important part of who you are. For those who have strong religious faith and who identify with that faith there can be some powerful thoughts in the process of rediscovery.

I was the searcher and honestly can say if the tables were reversed I would have mixed feelings about being... more

The adoptive father had died a few years prior to the natural mother making contact and the adoptee had an estranged relationship with his adoptive mother. The adoptee and his natural mother talked frequently in the beginning. The adoptee told the natural mother that he didn’t want his adoptive mother to find out he was talking to her because he didn’t think she would support any contact between the two of them.

This natural mother decided to respect that the adoptee knows that his natural mother loves him and wants nothing more than to meet him, hold... more

This natural mother feels that although her baby was not conceived in love the baby was carried in love and it was in love that she hid her pregnancy so that she could give him life. She loved this baby and she knew that her baby was going to a couple who loved him as much as she did, a couple who could provide form her baby what she could not.

This natural mother cried daily and wanted so badly to change her mind and take her baby back but she knew in her heart of hearts that being that young she could not provide for him. She didn’t have a job or... more

Another story is of a 13 years old female who was raped. This is how she lost her virginity and she got pregnant and had never even had her first period. She was raped, stabbed more times than she could count and was found unconscious by a friend. The 13 year old made her friend swear not to tell her parents. The 13 year old was scared that her dad wouldn’t love her anymore because she wasn’t a virgin. The reason she thought this was that her 17 year old sister had lost her virginity resulting in a strained relationship between her and her dad. She was... more