One of the most poignant questions I have been asked by an adoptee is" Do you think my birth mother ever thinks of me?"

Adoptees want to know:

 Does she think about me?  Does she miss me?  Would she welcome me back into her life?  Does she love me?  Did she willingly "give me up"?  Is she okay with her decision?

Below are real comments from birth mothers who have been in touch with me – about searching – being found – loving their children – and missing their relinquished... more

Identifying information is considered to be data that may lead to the positive identification of an adopted person, birth parents, or other birth relatives. Identifying information includes the current name of the person, but usually also includes an address or other contact information so that adopted persons and birth relatives can use the information to arrange personal contact with one another. The statutes in nearly all States permit the release of identifying information when the person whose information is sought has consented to the release.

A mutual consent registry... more

DMC: My Adoption Journey VH1, Documentary on Sat. Feb. 25, 9-10 pm (Check local listings for the time in your area

A friend of mine who currently has a search underway for his birth father was present for the filming of an upcoming television show about adoption reunion which will be broadcast on VH1 this coming Saturday, February 25, 2006. A portion of his description of this show is listed below. I am including two links as well. Entertainment Weekly's link which discusses the show is below: http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/vh1_rock_docs/99240/episode_about.jhtml... more

Another option when petitioning the court is to use the Indian Child Welfare Act if you have Native American in your heritage. In fact, it can be the key to a successful petition to open a sealed adoption file.

The Indian Child Welfare Act was passed in 1978 to address congressional findings that "an alarmingly high percentage of Indian families are broken up by the removal, often unwarranted, of their children from them by non-tribal public and private agencies and that an alarmingly high percentage of such children are placed in non-Indian foster and adoptive homes and institutions; and..... that the States, exercising their recognized jurisdiction over Indian child custody proceedings... more

I have been procrastinating writing about this for some reason and today I realized why. I am not a control freak or anything like that but when I decided to do something I want to accomplish it and I usually do. I get very frustrated waiting for others and that is what petitioning the court depends on. You are waiting on the judge to grant you a court order and appoint an intermediary. Then you are waiting on the intermediary to provide you with you non-identifying information and if you have requested a search, you are waiting for her to conduct the search.

I am... more

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Fear is a huge issue in adoption search and reunions. So, if you ARE a "Fraidy Cat", you are not alone! Not making fun of you either, but, I liked this cat and needed a reason to display it!

Some of the most common fears which arise when an adoptee decides to search and/or reunite may be:

1. Will my adoptive parents understand my need to search? 2. Is it fair to them for me to search? 3. What if my adoptive parents and birth parents do not like each other? 4. Where will I spend holidays if I find another... more

One of the first decisions in beginning a search is to decide who will do the searching. The choices include:

Conducting the search on your own: For some, it is an important journey to go through the search process. It can be exciting and healthy to feel in control and a part of the process by being very personally involved in your own search. Many people search on their own to keep the costs down as well. Probably the chief disadvantage in searching on your own is that unless you proceed in a very orderly, methodical fashion, and are educated about searching,... more

Sometimes a city directory is also called a criss cross directory or polk directory. They can be a wealth of information to the past, present, and future for anyone who is searching and can help you find who you are looking for.

A company called R L Polk has been making these directories for over 150 years as well as other lesser known companies that also make county directories.

City directories will likely be utilized sometime during the course of your search. You can use them to find out more about the doctor that delivered you, the attorney that your parents used, the agency that handled the adoption or the hospital where you were born.

City Directories are... more

In most cases, a baby born to an unmarried woman or who has arranged an adoption plan will not have a birth announcement in the newspaper. However, mistakes have been known to happen, so it may be worth while to make copies of the birth announcements for babies born on your birth date at the hospital or in the city or town of your birth. Furthermore, additional inquiries and information, particularly from the hospital of your birth, might require you to rule out certain names of babies who share your birth date, so the announcements can come in handy regardless of whether or not you are listed. As with any other piece of information that requires you to search in the area of your birth and/or... more

The Adoption Decree or Order of Adoption (your adoption might have come with one or both), is generally the final order of adoption. Many times the Adoption Decree can contain some potentially upsetting and draconian language for adoptees adopted several decades ago, or even more recently. Often, the decree announces that the adoptee, haa been 'abandoned' or 'rejected' by your natural mother. The adoptee, might be referred to as illegitimate or in other derogatory terms, until the end of the document when you are judged to have, by virtue of your adoption, obtained "all rights, privileges and immunities of children born in lawful wedlock." take all of this in stride, and write it off to sheer... more